daddy's jokes
Your daddy's so fat, he tripped over a rock. He thought it was a chip.
Why are orphans gay?
They call everyone "daddy."
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they don’t have anybody to call “daddy.”
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call them "daddy."
Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
Does an orphanage have daddy issues?
Yes, because he didn't come back from getting the milk.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have nobody to call "daddy."
Why did the orphan drop the soap in prison? So he can have a prison daddy.
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call “daddy.”
Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, "Mommy, mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, daddy came in with the lady next door and they started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off daddy's clothes and daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of daddy and started...". The mother cuts him off and says "Just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me." Couple hours later the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face shouting "I'm leaving you... Go ahead Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier." Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. "Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door and you both started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off your clothes and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing mom did with uncle Joe last summer."
Guess why orphans can't be gay? Cause they have no one to call Daddy.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't know who to call daddy.
I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."
Q: Why can't orphans be gay?
A: They have nobody to call daddy.
Why can’t orphans have sex?
Because they don’t have a daddy to run back to.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some water. Jill pulled up her dress and said, "Daddy, fuck me harder."
Why did orphans have to drink their own piss?
Because last time they went to the bar, they went with their dad and drank some Corona, then got drunk and started eating someone's toenails, so his dad went to go get the milk and everybody had to evacuate the bar. Then the orphan started walking on his teeth and got listed for the top ten wanted animals in the world, so then he felt wanted and went to go home and had nobody to go to, so he found the beer bottle he drunk out of and started pissing in it so he wouldn't die and loved it. So then someone saw him in the bushes pissing in a beer bottle then drinking, so the person who saw him started recording and posted it on YouTube, and the boy became famous, so now he can feel like he was wanted in life after daddy went to go get the milk, then the little boy became really rich.
Did you know that...the only reason you don't call priests "daddy" is because that's what you call them in sex!
Your mommy.
Stranger: Do you want a lollipop?
Kid: No, I hate lollipops, so yeah, and you are not my daddy.