Dad Jokes

What’s worse than banging your sister

Having to wear your dad’s wedding ring

Having homosexual parents must be terrible

Either you have double dosage of dad jokes or you are stuck in cycle of “go ask your mom”

I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad

I’m a faux pa.

I went to a birthday party and told dad jokes

The jokes didn't go over well. I was asked to leave the orphanage

What separates bad jokes from dad jokes?

Condoms.

Son asks dad “how much does marriage cost?”

Dad: “i don’t know son I’m still paying for it”

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Not aware that 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.

Boy: ‟Dark in here.” Man: ‟Yes it is.” Boy: ‟I have a baseball.” Man: ‟That's nice.” Boy: ‟Want to buy it?” Man: ‟No, thanks.” Boy: ‟That's my dad outside.” Man: ‟How much did you say the baseball was again?” Boy: ‟$250.”

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.

Boy: ‟Dark in here.” Man: ‟Yes, it is..” Boy: ‟I have a baseball glove.” Man: ‟That's nice.” Boy: ‟Want to buy it?” Man: ‟No, thanks.” Boy: ‟I think I just remembered something I needed to tell my dad.” Man: ‟How much did you say the glove was again?” Boy: ‟$750.” Man: ‟Fine.”

A few days later, the father says to the boy, ‟Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball!” The boy says, ‟I can't. I sold them.” The father asks, ‟How much did you sell them for?” The son says, ‟$1,000.” The father says, ‟It's terrible to over-charge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess.”

They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.

The boy says, ‟Dark in here.” The priest says, ‟Do not start that shit again

if yall gotta crush on me tell me now before my dad spends my valentines money on crack and alcohol

My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed". I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there son".

I walked in on my dad fucking my little brother. I don't know what was worse: the fact that he was fucking my brother or the fact that the abortion clinic let my parents take the fetus home....

i'll never forget my dads last words before he kicked the bucket: "hey, look how far i can kick this bucket!!"

You look like your mom and your dad had a child

I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% Graduation rate and he said "Your mom doesn't count as a college"

What’s the difference between your dad and your hairline?

Nothing they both ran off