I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, because I need new parts for my go-kart.
Cuz Jokes
Kid: Hi.
Janitor: Wtf you want, kid?
Kid: Why are you rude?
Janitor: 'Cause I have a shitty job.
Why didn't the dog want to play football??
'Cause he was a boxer!
Why is the sun so mean? Because it keeps ROASTING everyone!
Yo momma so fat that people jumped on her cuz they thought she was a school bus.
I went to the principal's office because I gave a deaf kid ear pods for his birthday.
Why don't orphans go home at pickup?
Because they don't have parents to pick them up.
Orphans are funny cuz all they do is sing "We Are Family."
Want to know what I do in my freetime?
Punch an orphan, cuz what are they going to do, tell their mom?
Why did your father go away?
'Cause he needs da milk.
What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?
I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.
Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!
A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.
Never kill an orphan, because then that will end their misery.
Why did Wilson die? Cuz he sucks!
Why can't orphans play House Flipper?
'Cause they don't know what to do.
Why in Alabama people don't use doggy style... Cuz you don't turn your back to your family.
Mom says: "I will go kill myself."
Me: *stays quiet cuz knows better than to talk* *also me internally eyerolls*
Some time later me fighting with my mom:
Me to my mom: "Oh, yea than kill me!"
Mom: "What the hell did you just say? I don't want to hear it from you again!"
Lesson?
So it's OK for adults to say "I'll kill myself" but not teens/kids!?!?
Gay orphans don't exist cuz they have no one to call "daddy," and lesbian orphans don't exist cuz they have no one to call "mommy."
Q: Why do orphans hate Fast and Furious movies?
A: Because they say "family" too often.
