It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. “No,” says the neighbor. “The seat is empty.” “This is incredible,” said the man. “Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?” The neighbor says, “Well, actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.” “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible... But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbor to take her seat?” The man shakes his head. “No,” he says. “They’re all at the funeral.”
Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged.
what do you call a sad cup of coffee? Answer: Depresso
A guy went to the doctor and told him that whenever he drinks a cup of tea his eye hurts ,the doctor brought him a cup and asked him to drink ... when he finished the doctor told him : from now on take off the spoon.
How do you make a dead baby float?
1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.
What do you call someone that illegally transports cups? - A s-mug-gler.
Liam Gallagher went into a café for a cup of tea, the assistant asked him if "he wanted a roll with it"
22 ants were playing football in a saucer. One ant said to another one, “We'll have to play better tomorrow. We're playing in the cup!”
What's the difference between England and a tea bag? -- The tea bag stays longer in a cup.
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."
