Commitment jokes
What do you call an emo committing suicide while filming it?
America's Funniest Home Videos.
Your Mom so fat that she went on to commit suicide, but the roof fell off.....
Vegan Teacher the musical.
Miss Kadie - "Oh no, you poor dead animal!"
Mr. Beast- 🎶 "You're a dumb Communist, Miss Kadie" 🎶
Chandler-🎵 "Yup, you're one high fluting son of a gun" 🎵
Mr. Beast- 🎵 "I just gobbled up a quadruple patty from my restaurant" 🎵
Miss Kadie - 🎵 "Don't hurt animals kids, do you want to be a vegans 'R' us kid?" 🎵
Kids- 🎵 "We've had enough of your problems, Miss Kadie, you're such a commie!"
Miss Kadie - 🎵 "I just want to die because I'm so sad!"
- Miss Kadie jumps off Mr. Beast Burger and commits suicide.
How to commit arson:
1. Burn down an orphanage.
So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging themselves? I guess they lost Hangman.
My life is so meaningless that I committed a crime just to get shot. 0-0
This is not a joke; this is just about death...
A noose, a knife, a gun, and a razor blade look at a child who committed suicide after being bullied.
Everyone looked at the noose. The noose would say, "What? It wasn't my fault!"
Why would you shoot up an innocent school... if your aimbot's dead and you can't commit headshots only?
People complain we are overpopulated.
Well, then if we committed suicide, then why do they be sad? It's one less person to think about. Why complain about it when in the end we become sad people?
What does a lesbian bring on the second date?
A U-Haul.
What does a relationship and suicide have in common?
I always fail on committing.
Alvin and the Chipmunks commit war crimes.
if you ask an artist how to commit suicide, they will say a very creative way
Where do spiders commit crimes?
The Dark Web.
Why do deer stay in front of a moving car?
To commit suicide.
Why do homeless people commit crimes?
They get a bed in jail.
What's the worst thing about committing suicide? You can only do it once.
What's the only regret you would have when you eventually kill yourself? It wasn't sooner.
My friend was on a wheelchair... he committed suicide yesterday. I remember when I met him last time, he told us a good joke and I appreciated him and told him to become a stand-up comedian.
Which city holds the record for the most suicides committed from a gorilla jumping off a tall building?
It was called Fall-adelphia.
Why did the orphan commit a bank robbery?
So he could be wanted.