I had a friend who was a dwarf..... he committed suicide........he jumped of a curb
My depressed friend said he wanted to jump off of a bridge but he didn’t wanna commit suicide. I told him if you jump and yell "parkour," it’ll just be a failed stunt.
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth including an increase in child abuse" said the village priest. The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media. "Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!" "Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey". they reported
The village priest is living at his majesties convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke, its not even funny?" Said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?
Russians think they are tuffer than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this
1 USA was NEVER invaded 2 USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does! 3 USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass Russians 4 Our soldiers don’t rape kids 5 we have more Allie’s than you 6 we are smaller but stronger 7 Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!
My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends Chad just murdered his wife Claire and after doing that he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after My moms reply: Jesus Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess won’t he
i got hired by a orphan to commit crimes, so he could become wanted
what happens when a battery commits a crime? they get charged!
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals. I hacker, a rapist, a serial killer and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial decides that she want’s to change, but when she see a knife she just can’t help it. He bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist get teleported back to prison
It's funny how teachers are supposed to educate new lives, but only teach certain kids how much they want to commit suicide and how many ways there are.
My mom said she would miss me if I committed suicide so we made it double
Why did orphans want to commit a crime?
Because they wanted to see what it feels like to be wanted.
What do you do if your online friend wants to commit suicide ? You can't do anything he's already on line
There's a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.
Imagine failing to commit suicide, you might as well go kill yourself
a priest sees a man about to commit suicide the man says "I have nothing to live for here I will die go to heaven and get 72 virgins" then the priest says "no need for this I will take you to the local elementary school"
You wanna hear a joke?
2 Emo's hanging out under a tree🤣🤣🤣🤣
How many Emo's does it take to commit suicide? Way too fucking many, because they never get it right the first time 🤣🤣🤣🤣
who ever says a joke "is not a joke" should go commit bye die
preventing suicide is best done by commiting it.
Chuck Norris once said that he didn't like a the plane he was riding in. Out of sadness, the plane committed suicide. How you ask? Ask the Twin Towers
this guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named how to commit suicide he never returned it
