Clergy jokes
Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.
A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion.
"What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job," replied the Priest.
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, next I can become Bishop," said the Priest.
"Yes, and then?" asked the Rabbi.
"If I work real hard and do a good job as Bishop, it's possible for me to become an Archbishop," said the Priest.
"O.K., then what?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest, beginning to get a bit exasperated, replied, "With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal."
"And then?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, "With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I'm in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope."
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Good grief!" shouted the Priest. "What do you expect me to become, GOD?"
"Well," said the Rabbi, "One of our boys made it!"
What did the 3-year-old boy say to the priest?
"My bum hurts."
if priests were on Twitter, they would tweet, "He's a 10 but he's 10."
What do you call an orphan who grows up to become a priest?
Father Les.
Priests are priests.
HELP! HELP!
TELL THE PRIEST TO STOP TICKLING ME!
Johnny is walking along, and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, "Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?"
The priest says, "Because I'm a father."
Johnny says, "Yeah? Well, my old man's got three kids, and he don't wear his collar backwards."
The priest says, "You don't understand, son. I have thousands of children."
Johnny says, "You should wear your fuckin' trousers backwards."
What do a priest and Christmas tree lights have in common?
They can both flash.
Why are you guys making fun of priests?
Because you have a suga daddy already.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he had someone to call Father.
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”
When is a priest's best compromise?
A failed Baptism.
What do you call an orphan who grows up and becomes a priest?
Father Les.
How come I have a father but not a dad?
He was a priest.
How did the priest know the nun was on her period? He tasted blood on the altar boy's cock.
How much pussy does a priest get? None.
Priest
What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.
Do you know where priests go at night?
To all night sale at Boys R Us.