Clean

Clean Jokes

I don't see why women are complaining about the glass ceiling, I mean if they reach high enough they can clean it...

My son asked me how i'm so clean,"inside out.". I told him because of bleach. the next day I found him drinking the bleach.

I just threw some cigarette butts on the ground while I was driving. I wasn't clean after this.

A boy and his friend were walking down the street.

Boy 1: Bro, you still got my Nikes? Boy 2: Ye, sorry. I got em dirty. Boy 1: Please clean them, we have school tomorrow.

Boy 2 got back to his house and decided to clean his friend's shoes. After he finished drying them, he got stuck in his painfully small dryer. Then he remembered his brother needed something from the dryer. So he tried to get out, when his brother came in.

He came in twice.

(like if u understand)

Three sons left home, went out into the world and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they'd given to their elderly mum.

'I built a big house for our mum,' said the first.

'I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur,' said the second.

And the third smiled and said, 'I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren't so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it.'

A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son,

'The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house.'

To the second son she said, 'I'm far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I've hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude.'

To the third son she wrote 'Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!'

one day i caught my sister talking to my girlfriend and she said "you never told me your Lesbian" and i said "no,not at all" my girlfriend ask "why did you not tell her" and i said " because every time i bring a girl home i hear to much noise in her room and i never get the chance to kiss them because she's cleaning the trash" and she said "yeah,the trash is her junk"

what does having sex with a woman and cooking an egg in a skillet have in common? A. both end with a loud annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean the shit up.

I cleaned my room today. While sweeping under the bed, I heard my mop collide with something. To my surprise, I found Pristiano Penaldo hiding under my bed! My dad said “don’t bother sweeping him son, hes been dusted for years” I was shocked but not surprised.

Foxy the fox the was a careless fox she didn't care about her friend Froggy Froggy was a careful frog One day froggy dicided to teach the fox a lesson Foxy was in her bed sleeping When froggy made her room an entire mess She got up and then the mother berated her up for not cleaning her room From now she is a careful fox

there was a kid at school he was reading a book and he came across a phrase it was purple pation he went to his teacher and asked what it ment his teacher said hat the actual hell get the hell out of my class and go to the princible offic the princible said its ok iwas probably a mistake i will clean this all up in the mean time whats the phrase he says purple pation his prncible stares at him for about 3 seconds then says get the hell out of my school u r expelled he ran 7 miles to his dads offic crying all the way he went to his dad and explained how hs teacher kicked him out of the class and the princable expelled him his dad said calm down i will clean this all up and he said thats what the princable said he said i will clean it up he said ok the phrase is purple pation hisdad said i hate u getout of myoffice i dont want to see u again he ran down crying to his house he explained what happened his mom said the same thing as everyone else so he explaines the phrase his moms kickes him out of the house and he ran down to the park crying a old lady said whats wrong he explained whats happening then she says wellwhats the phrase he says purplepation the old lady said see that house across the street thats my house come over in about 30 min and i will explain he says thank u it was the longest 30 min of his life he sprints across the street and gets hit by a bus sorry guys ;)

Karien: Mom, I don't care if you're dating a new guy, I want you and Dad to be together!

Daiana: Sometimes things don't work out, like when it didn't work between your father and me. Time to move on Karien.

Karien: Will I'm not moving on! I can't believe you love someone else!

Daiana: Karien, just give him a chance. His name is Derek he loves cooking, cleaning, and anything that has you doing something.

Karien: That is so boring!

Daiana: Will just work with me please?

Karien: I'll give you a day...24 hours mom!