What do you call a person who's afraid of Santa? Klaustrophobic
what did santa say when he got to the club ho ho ho
I helped my son (who is missing his arms) unwrap his christmas present ungrateful bastard just sits there and cries, and it's a pair of mittens. the ungrateful bastard is just sitting there, crying.
You wanna know what i want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.
Telling jokes is snow problem
So Santa fell down the chimney but it was a lit chimney...his names no longer Santa. It's crisp cringle. Pls send help :).
To start im a big fella in size.
I saw a skinny guy act like Santa so I went over to him. "You can't pull that off" I said. He said "then you try it". He gave me the Santa suit and I dressed up. He walked by and saw me with 45 kids in line to sit on my lap and tell me what they wanted for Christmas.
I love telling stories as theatrical plays. When we had a free dress day near Christmas my teacher dressed up as a reindeer, so I got my teacher involved...and shot her.
Robin asks Batman what are you getting your parents for Christmas Batman gets mad slaps Robin and runs off crying
now you know why Batman beyond was born when Bruce died cause of death: suicide
Where’s the best place to put a Christmas tree In between Christmas two and Christmas four 😉😂😂
Why did Billy not like the soccer ball he got for Christmas?..
He has no legs...
What's the only thing Mexicans can unwrap on Christmas? Tamales.
When Santa Asks You what you want for Christmas then says ho ho ho say yes Please.
What is worse to have - a dead baby or dead Santa Claus? Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.
what did the blind man say on Christmas? I can feel your presents!
A sex addict man meets a rich man around Christmas.
The sex addict asks the rich man, "What are you getting your wife this Christmas?" The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Mercedes." The sex addict asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?" The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them."
The sex addict nods. Then the rich man asks him, "So what are you getting your wife this year?" The sex addict thinks about it for a second and replies, "A gold necklace and a dildo."
The rich man asks, "Why those two things?" The sex addict astutely reponds, "This way, if she doesn't like the jewelry she can go f... herself."
Why was Stephen Hawking disappointed when he got his Christmas present? It was singing lessons.
Well tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey
Kids are cute, not even joking. Wanking is easy around them
On Christmas Mexicans wake up in the morning, then take a nap. Joking I know they work hard, they run all the way to the border to decorate the barbed wire.
