guess how i got away from my mom saying i can't play fortnite, i took my stuff and I ran to Iran
Why do orphans go to church? Because they can finally call someone "father."
One day, an orphan bought a boomerang. He threw it, and it didn’t come back.
Never tell an orphan about a family matter; they wouldn't understand.
Q:What was hellen kellers favorite game as a kid A:musical chairs
Orphan- I want to be a relator Teacher- Why? Orphan- Because I never had one in my childhood.
My dad is like my virginity. I lost him at 12.
a little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks " whats that" the little boy says that's my little red race car. 10 minutes later the boy looks down and ask's whats that,the little girl says "that's my little red race car garage. so later that night the boy ask's the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage, She say yes and they pull down there pants and the boy try's putting his little red race car in her garage but it won't fit down stairs the mother hears an ear piercing scream and runs up stairs flips on the lights and see's blood on the floor the mother ask's "what happened the little girl say's "we tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn't fit so i cut the back wheels off"
GF: What did you use as kissing when you were little? Me: My sister SWEET HOME ALABAMAA
When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are.”
He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”
I wanted to be an astronaut but my parents always told me when I was little that the sky was the limit.
Boy: Why is my sister named Rose?
Dad: Someone threw a rose out of a car and it hit her in the head.
Boy: Okay, Dad.
Dad: No problem, Brick.
Name something you practiced kissing on as a kid.
Sister. SWEET HOME ALABAMA!
My father left me at a young age
He was only five
I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.
There is an upside to being an orphan. Every bag of chips is family size.
I'm still playing hide & seek with my dad.
I hated church growing up as a child. It was always standing, kneeling, sitting, standing, kneeling, sitting. I wish the priest would just pick a position and f*** me!
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite childhood song? "The wheels on the chair go round and round....."
What's the difference between $1 million and baby teeth?
I don't have $1 million in my wallet.