My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.
I don't get this. Why is it I go to an orphanage and all of a sudden they said I used to be the cutest baby there?
Why do orphans not like cereal? Because their dad never came back with milk.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell them to clap until their parents come home.
"Hey, don’t take my toy! What are you going to tell your parents?"
Kid: Mom! You lied to me!
Mom: When?
Kid: You told me that my little brother was an Angel!
Mom: Sooo?
Kid: Then why didn’t he fly when I threw him off the balcony?
Mom: WHAT!!!??!!
Q: Why do orphans love boomerangs?
A: Because they actually come back.
Why do orphans love boomerangs?
They come back.
Police: Come with me, I’m taking you home.
Orphan: Well, we need to find them first.
Police: Then I don’t need to take you home.
Q: Why do orphans love playing tennis?
A: Because the ball comes back.
My mom left me at a very young age.
New Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.
Students: Damn.
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Students: Your parents!
What’s a pedophile’s favorite band? Kids Bop.
What's the difference between an onion and a baby? I only tear up cutting the onion.
Johnny: Why do cuss words exist?
Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older.
|| 20 YEARS LATER ||
Johnny: Mom, now can you tell me why cuss words exist?
Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them.
Johnny: Damn, Mom, you shoulda told me that when I was still seven 'cause now I really feel like that person.
Q: Why can you be rude to an orphan?
A: Because who are they gonna tell their parents?
Why can't a orphan play baseball? Because they can't make a home run.
Elementary school kids: School is fun.
Me: Yeah, yeah, just keep believing that.
Why did an orphan say, "I'm wanted?" Because they wanted to feel a lie in their life.
Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. He got invited to dinner with his neighbor. Little Johnny's dad said if he mentioned "ears" he will get a spank.
So Johnny looked in the bassinet. They were talking about the new baby. Johnny's mum said, "What beautiful eyes."
"That is great," said little Johnny, "because he will be stuffed if he needed glasses."
