Childhood jokes
Apparently, as a 4-year-old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest.
Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.
Why do kids like to pick on orphans?
Because they can't call their parents.
Why can't orphans use a phone?
Because they don't have a home screen.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why do orphans drink water with cereal?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
Answer: A boomerang, because it is the only thing that comes back to them.
Father: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage.
Child: But why?
Father: So you won’t be bored. You’re going to need them there.
What do you call an orphan's family reunion?
Me time.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he can't get home.
Why was Tickle Me Elmo upset when he left the factory?
Because they only gave him one test tickle.
I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.
Why did Michael Jackson like having little boys round him? He was studying for the priesthood.
What do orphans and homework have in common?
Everybody forgets about them.
What is an orphan's favorite game? Sims, so they can make a family to have.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
The apples get picked.
Why do orphans want to become criminals? To know what it feels like to be wanted.
Why was the orphan so successful?
They told him, "Go big or go home," he only had one option.
What's an orphan's least favorite store?
Family Dollar.
Why was the orphan so successful? Because once someone told him "go big or go home," and he only had one option.
What are two plus sides to being an orphan?
1. All your snacks are family sized.
2. No one can make jokes about your mama.