girlfriend: you remind me of a cell phone
girlfriend's ex: why?
Girlfriend: because your about to die
You have more chin than your brain cell
Why do orphans hate mitosis cells?
They have parents
What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner? A kong-vict.
What’s the difference between a chromosome and a hormone..??
You can hear hormone
What did the cell phone say to his wife? i will give you a ring
im jealous at me led lights. cause they r hanging from the celling ans im not.
Whats a prisoners favorite game?
Hangman!
What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his foot? Mitosis !!! (my-toe-sis)
A drunk guy runs into a bar... he bangs his head and falls down, why? Because he is in a prison cell.
Why don't you act like an amoeba and split.
what do u call a nut in jail: a busted nut
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”
The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”
STOP PUTTING UP BAD JOKES BOI
A man walks into a bar, the corrections officer says "Usually we open the cell before you go in, now stop bleeding on my floor!"
I just got a text on my cell bone be right back ;)
you use to call me on your cellphone when you need my love mad girl; SHUT UP YOU ARE SO ANNOYING I DONT WANT TO CALL YOU ON MY CELL PHONE
What’s the only type of Batteries that they use in prisons? Durracell
I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me. She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand. Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys I asked and she said that’s my fam as well I noticed an Alabama drivers license I asked where which one was her dad she said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter I casually asked what he did for work self employed she said That’s the last time I use ancestry.com
What did the cell say when it was dividing? "It's not you, it's me."
