Q. Why can't Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
A. He can't get his wheelchair up the stairs.
What were Brian Cant's last words before he died?
"I used to do it, but now I cant!"
What did the man's dick say to the man?
I just can't "hand"le it!
Your mum is so poor, she can't afford free samples.
So, Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Wait, he can't.
Why do Asians don’t wear contacts? Cause they can’t fitt.
A woman wakes up in a hospital after an accident and yells, "Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
And the doctor says, "I know, I amputated your arms."
A son walks up to his dad and says, "Dad! I just had sex for the first time."
The dad goes, "Great! Wanna sit down and talk about it?"
The son says, "I can't sit right now, my butt is very sore."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Question: Why can't you trust a tree?
Answer: 'Cause they are always shady.
Deaf people suck lots of dicks.
They can't hear!
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
Can't wait for Stephen Hawking's next update.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is...
Why can't two Chinese people have a white baby? Because "two wongs don't make a white."
What's the difference between depression and a girl?
XXXTentacion can't seem to beat depression.
What did John Cena say to the blind man? "YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
'Cause they are dead.
How do you punish Helen Keller? You stick a toilet plunger in the toilet.
Why can't Helen Keller have kids? It went up too far.
Why can't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got stuck in a crack!
