Cant jokes

Friend: I have the eye of the tiger.

Me: So what? I have the balls of a gorilla.

Parents: We can't come back to the zoo next week!

Why can't you play poker in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!

What do you call a dog with no legs?

...You can't call it anything. It won't come to you.

So a mushroom walks in a bar and the waiter says, "You can't be here."

And the mushroom says, "Why? I'm a fungi!"

Using modern day technology you can produce music with a Tesla coil. I don't know if you heard it, but it is quite shocking and even electrifying. I can't tell if it is metal or techno, but it is more valuable than joules. It really amps up your blood pressure and has you saying watt the whole time. It is way better than current music.

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  • Q. Why can't Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?

    A. He can't get his wheelchair up the stairs.

    What were Brian Cant's last words before he died?

    "I used to do it, but now I cant!"

    What did the man's dick say to the man?

    I just can't "hand"le it!

    A woman wakes up in a hospital after an accident and yells, "Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs!"

    And the doctor says, "I know, I amputated your arms."

    A son walks up to his dad and says, "Dad! I just had sex for the first time."

    The dad goes, "Great! Wanna sit down and talk about it?"

    The son says, "I can't sit right now, my butt is very sore."