Cant jokes

What can an elevator do that an orphan’s parents can’t?

The elevator can raise a family.

ENTER PASSWORD.

WRONG.

WRONG.

WRONG.

WRONG.

WRONG.

WRONG.

RESET PASSWORD.

NEW PASSWORD CAN'T BE OLD PASSWORD.

Sets fire to computer.

My cousin: “How’s the lemonade stand supposed to run when you’re at softball practice?!”

Me: “Lemonade stands can’t run, dufus.”

Orphans and Chinese people can’t play baseball. The orphans can’t find home, and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.

I’m light as a feather, yet the strongest person can’t hold me for five minutes. What am I?

I hate school. I mean, why can't you pull out a 12 gauge and shoot everyone, including the teachers?! This generation is too soft, man.

I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.