Cant jokes
One day, the Pope is coming to America in his limo, and he said to the driver, "Why don’t you let me drive for once?"
The driver thinks to himself, "Well, I can’t say no to this guy; he’s the Pope." So the driver pulls over, and they change places. The Pope was having fun, hauling butt down the freeway, dogging cars. After a while, the driver taps on the window and tells the Pope, "Slow down a bit; you might get pulled over."
The Pope says, "Ahhh, don’t worry about it; I’m the Pope." So he rolls up the window and continues to drive very fast. After a few moments, he gets pulled over. The cop walks to the car, and the Pope rolls down the tinted window. The cop sees the Pope and says, "Oh, I, ehhh, sorry, can you hold on a minute?"
The Pope says, "Sure." The cop walks back to his car and radios back to the station. He says, "Guys, I just pulled over someone really important."
They ask who, "The President?"
"No, more important."
"The president of another country?"
"No, more important."
"An ambassador?"
"No, even more important."
"Well, who is it?"
"I don’t know, but the Pope is the chauffeur."
Why can't people in Africa have medicine?
Because you cannot have pills on an empty stomach.
Your hairline is so far away that even the Hubble Telescope can't see it.
Your wife dumped you because you are so poor and you are so ugly. You also live under a rock and have no money. You got dumped so hard you can't remember you got dumped.
"We can't go over it, we can't go under it. Oh no, we'll have to go through it!"
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.
What can you do if you can't bear sharing the same blood as your father who raped you?
Have a blood transfusion.
I wanna take drowning lessons, but I can't find more than one session.
Why can't an orphan get 5 stars in GTA? Because they are not wanted.
Why can't an orphan be a criminal? Because they are not wanted.
Why do blind kids like plane crashes?
Because you can’t dislike what you have never seen.
What can an elevator do that an orphan’s parents can’t?
The elevator can raise a family.
ENTER PASSWORD.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
RESET PASSWORD.
NEW PASSWORD CAN'T BE OLD PASSWORD.
Sets fire to computer.
Why can't an orphan get married? It doesn't have its parents' blessing.
My cousin: “How’s the lemonade stand supposed to run when you’re at softball practice?!”
Me: “Lemonade stands can’t run, dufus.”
Orphans and Chinese people can’t play baseball. The orphans can’t find home, and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.
Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, he can't tell me.
Why do kids like to pick on orphans?
Because they can't call their parents.
Why can't orphans use a phone?
Because they don't have a home screen.
Your mama's breath smells so bad, people can't wait for her to fart.