Cant jokes

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Teeth

  • When Little Johnny was about 3, he got curious and stuck his hand up a mannequin's pants. His mom says, "No, Little Johnny, there are teeth up there that will bite off your hand." Little Johnny thinks, "Oh no, I can't do that again."

    A few years later, he was 15 and he had a girlfriend, and they were making out. She says, "Why don't you ever stick your hand up my pants?" He says, "Oh no, my mom says there are teeth that will bite off my hand up there." She says, "No, there isn't, just look!" Little Johnny looks and says, "Well, no wonder there ain't no teeth. By the way, them gums look..."

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    Parent

  • I've been looking for my parents for years.

    For the life of me, I can't remember where I hid their bodies.

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    Gas

  • Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?

    I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.

    Orphan

  • Lil Jimmy: Hey doc.

    Doctor: Hi, sorry but I can’t see you anymore.

    Lil Jimmy: Why?

    Doctor: Because, Lil Jimmy, I’m a family doctor, you're an orphan.

    Lil Jimmy: 👁👄👁🖕

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