Canning Jokes

Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.

What did the kamikaze instructor say to the students?

"Okay guys, watch very carefully because I can only show you this demonstration once."

What is the only reason you can hit an orphan and get away with it?

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"

And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."

Soldiers, there is one thing you can be sure of: You will be at home with your families, in a jar on the mantelpiece.