Canning jokes

The waiter comes and asks you for the check. Instead I give him a 20 dollar bill and say, "Boy, you can keep it!"

Me: Can you give me some drumsticks to eat?

Brother: Why though?

Me: So I can just drum up an appetite.

Prince, can we please chat?

Hey Abygail ;) can we talk? I just wanna say that you prob are sexy :)

My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets!"

Hey Gwen, next time you're online can you go to "son jokes".

I commented back to you and portory.

Does anyone know where I can get that picture that went around the internet of Steven Hawking looking at the stairway to Heaven and saying “Oh Fu-k”?

Why is something orphans can never say?

"Let's go home."

Hey, Tanya, can I Tanya ass?

Teacher: Ok kids, time to go home.

The orphan: What is home?

Teacher: Here, I have somewhere for you.

*puts in trash can*

I would tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I can only think of the punchline.

I need to call candy. What's candy? Candy can "bofe" if these balls fit in your mouth.

So, three guys are walking carefully into a bar.

The bartender said, "What can I get you, gentlemen?"

What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home and walk walk home to get a car? I love you, you're the night!

What place can you find a cow? Mc'Donalds (Eieio)

Wow, paint can, you have such a colorful personality!

What can you build with people? A boat!

What do you get when skeletons are dancing in a tin can?

Noise!

Your mama is so stupid she stayed up all night so she can get some sleep.

How can you tell it's a gay barbecue?

'Cause all the hot dogs taste like shit.