Are you the sun? I can see you from a mile away.
Canning Jokes
What type of cake can orphans not eat? Homemade.
Why can you say "Kobe" even though you missed?
Because he didn't land either.
I want to die at a party. This is because nobody can be sad over me.
What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.
Yo mom is so fat even Dora can explore you!
You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????
When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.
Why does the emo's mom like taking her son to the store?
Because the cashier can scan his wrist for discounts!
Your face is so big that not even you can see it.
You are so blind, even a spider can see better than you.
What did the leper say to the hooker? "You can keep the tip."
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because it can never find home.
How can you buy emos? Just use their bar code.
Knock Knock! Who's there? Candace Candace who? Can deez nuts fit in your mouth?
Why do people always bully orphans?
'Cause what can they do? Tell their parents?
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can never get a home run. 😭
Armless guy: Even though I don’t have arms, I can do anything you normal people can do.
Me: 🎵If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands! 🎶
What is a four-legged animal called that can fly?
A donkey flying in the sky running away from me.
Can never tell a funny 9/11 joke. They always collapse and burn.
