Canning jokes

How can you tell when your sister is on her period?

Your dad's knob tastes funny.

Why do midgets need a lot of books at school?

So they can reach the top of the desk.

How many guns can an octopus hold?

9

What time is it when you get home? Can you walk me home, and then get home? Then I can walk you home, and walk home.

What do you get when you cross an octopus with a Mexican?

I don't know, but man can it pick lettuce.

What’s one thing a man can do that a woman can’t?

Sit down and shut up.

Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.

I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.

I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.

They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.

Roses are red, Epstein's face turned blue.

Trump's on that list, And there's nothing he can do.

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?

He was lucky it was a soft drink!

Opponent fist attacks your face, no you can not activate a trap card.

Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Even though you are a meateater, you can still totally be a vegetarian.

"The only way I'd want to be reincarnated is if I can be reincarnated as a man," said the young woman.

"Why?" said her friend.

"Oh, I don't know, just men are so cool,"

"Is that the only reason?" said her friend.

"Maybe........" said the young woman. "Maybe."

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knock, knock." "Knock, knock who?" "Can you let me in now?"

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"It's nice, but can it pick up peanuts?"

Why do Mexicans wear pointed boots?

So they can climb a fence easier.

What's the most expensive haircut you can get? Chemotherapy.

Why can’t an orphan play baseball?

They can never do a home run.

Bastards can never pray, because they don't have a Holy Father.