African Kid: "Mom, can we have water?"
Mom: "Sure, it's in the house."
African Kid: *Goes to the fridge and opens the door searching for cold water*
The fridge: ERROR 404 Water Not Found
Are your parents bakers? Because you're a cutie pie.
Are you a loan? Because you've got my interest.
Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!
If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.
Are you an artist? Because you’re really good at drawing me in.
I believe in following my dreams. Can I have your Instagram?
If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.
If you were a flower, you'd be a daaaaaamn-delion!
I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart?
What's the same about a newborn and a football?
You can kick them both very easily.
Finish the lyrics: Can I put my...
why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers. because they can go through 100 stories in 7 seconds
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers?
They can go through 100 floors in 7 seconds.
Who can jump the highest? Emos some of them are still falling.
I copied my friend's work. It's not like the teacher can tell my parents.
Nostalgia hits you like a train.
It's so hard, you can even wake up.
Don't tell me I haven't got balls. I just happen to wear mine on my chest, and I can guarantee they're a lot bigger than yours!
"Can we do 69?" "How about the 9/11 because were going to crash tonight."
"Can we do 69?"
"How about we do 9/11 since we will crash together?"
Yes, the Queen has died today. Can the people of the world please finally tell Harry to stop cross-dressing as her?
To all those who say this is a joke, it isn't. It's a core of humor and magic. It's a part of humor we can keep. Like if you agree.
What is the difference between Superman and an emo kid? Superman can actually land.
So today I heard a friend say she had a stalker. I can confirm I've never seen a stalker following her.
The cold winter night, there was a cabin in the woods. The cabin housed 3 men. The men were gay but they did not know.
Fili: "Fili." Kili: "And Kili." Fili and Kili: "At your service." Kili: "You must be Mr. Baggins." Bilbo: "No! You can’t come in, you’ve come to the wrong house." Kili: "What?! Has it been canceled?" Fili: "No one told us." Bilbo: "Can...! No, nothing’s been canceled." Kili: "That’s a relief." Fili: "Careful with these, I just had them sharpened." Kili: "It’s nice, this place. Did you do it yourself?" Bilbo: "Uh...no, it’s been in the family for years. That’s my mother’s glory box, can you please not do that?" Dwalin: "Fili, Kili, come on, give us a hand." Kili: "Mr. Dwalin." Balin: "Let’s shove this in the hole, or otherwise we’ll never get everyone in." Bilbo: "Ev...everyone?! How many more are there? Oh, no! No, no. There’s nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! There’s far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blockhead’s idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste!" One of the Dwarves: "Get off, you big lump!"
Then the men only had one seat they had in the cabin. It was a bar seat. they were able to flip it upside down and fit all of them on it.
Mom, can I be a firefighter when I grow up?
Mom: Oh, you won't grow up, Caillou.
Can we stop talking about 9/11? I lost my dad in it.
He was a great pilot.
