Bulb jokes
What's the difference between a pregnant girl and a light bulb?
... You can unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a pregnant girl.
What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan? The apples get picked.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They just hold it in the socket and expect the world to revolve around them.
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
How many bisexuals does it take to change a light bulb?
Depends, are you AC or DC? However many turn you on.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they're so DARN STUPID!!!!
How many redheads does it take to change a lightbulb?
One! She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5
4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.
How many Kardashians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One really small one and one really small black guy.
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb?
To get to the other side.
How do you get Wacko Jacko to screw a lightbulb?
Tell Jacko that the bulb is a 6-year-old boy.
Tim and Tom were at work. Tim said, "I'm sick of this. I'm going to act like an idiot to get sent home." So Tim was on the roof saying, "I am a light bulb!" The boss walked in and said, "Tim, go home, you're acting like a dick!" Then Tom started packing up and Tim said, "Tom, why are you packing up?" Tom says, "I can't work in the fucking dark, can I?"
How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously not 8, because it's still dark in my basement.
How many Senators fans does it take to change a light bulb?
All 3 of them.
Hockey for life!
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, that's a hardware problem.
How many oz of water does it take to screw a light bulb?
None, also what the heck are you doing with water when people in Africa don’t have any?
How many prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just put the light bulb up their pussy and ask you to pay.
How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?
Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.
How many electrical engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That is the electrician's job. I am a specialist.
How many software engineers?
Again, none. It's a hardware problem.
How many computer programmers to change a light bulb?
Two, but one resigns halfway through the project.