Bulb jokes
How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to pull a permit, one to schedule the inspector, and one to change the bulb.
How many poets does it take to change a light bulb?
One to curse the darkness, one to light a candle.
How many Bay Street bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
In Toronto? One to hold it up and expect the entire country to revolve around them.
How many audio engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
One, two. One, TWO. One, two. One, two.
How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?
One (flips lens) or two? One (flips another lens) or two?
How many electrical engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That is the electrician's job. I am a specialist.
How many software engineers?
Again, none. It's a hardware problem.
How many computer programmers to change a light bulb?
Two, but one resigns halfway through the project.
How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
More than 10, since my basement's still dark.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they're so DARN STUPID!!!!
How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to light up the room with space lasers so the other can see, and one to screw it in.
How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?
Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.
How many Kardashians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One really small one and one really small black guy.
How many Karens does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one...to call 911 and demand a cop come do something about the intimidating blackness.
How many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they sit in the dark and cry.
How do I fix a broken light bulb? I don't. I simply blow up the house.
How do you get Wacko Jacko to screw a lightbulb?
Tell Jacko that the bulb is a 6-year-old boy.
How many Michael Jacksons does it take to screw a light bulb?
Oh wait, Michael Jackson only screws little boys, my bad.
How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.
I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.
What's the difference between a pregnant girl and a light bulb?
... You can unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a pregnant girl.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They just hold it in the socket and expect the world to revolve around them.