Bulb jokes
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they're so DARN STUPID!!!!
How many bisexuals does it take to change a light bulb?
Depends, are you AC or DC? However many turn you on.
How many Lawrence Welk fans does it take to change a light bulb?
"A one, and ah two."
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb?
To get to the other side.
How many Kardashians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One really small one and one really small black guy.
How many prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just put the light bulb up their pussy and ask you to pay.
How many electrical engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That is the electrician's job. I am a specialist.
How many software engineers?
Again, none. It's a hardware problem.
How many computer programmers to change a light bulb?
Two, but one resigns halfway through the project.
How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to light up the room with space lasers so the other can see, and one to screw it in.
How many redheads does it take to change a lightbulb?
One! She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, that's a hardware problem.
I threw a lamp at an emo kid and told him to lighten the f*ck up.
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
It only takes one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has to want to change.
How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?
About one third less than for a regular bulb.
How many Michael Jacksons does it take to screw a light bulb?
Oh wait, Michael Jackson only screws little boys, my bad.
Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Wanna go ride a bike?
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Depends on how high your ceiling is.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's a silly question. Feminists can't change anything.
How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?
One (flips lens) or two? One (flips another lens) or two?
How many crack heads does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, there is no electricity.
How many Senators fans does it take to change a light bulb?
All 3 of them.
Hockey for life!