Bringing jokes
(Kids Doing A Science Project.) Kid 1: Did you bring Uranus?
Kid 2: Never leave home without it.
A new feature that we are bringing to the Olympics is 3D viewing. So if you're watching the javelin, I would look away now.
I love stairs. They always bring me up.
Why can’t Homer Simpson bring his family into Moe’s Tavern?
Because there’s a bartender in there.
Why did the rapper bring a basketball to the concert?
To drop some SLAM DUNKS on the mic!
Why did the rapper bring a dictionary to the party?
To leave everyone SPEECHLESS!
Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house? Because the ghosts bring all the boos.
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?
Because he wanted to drop higher bars!
When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no, “What are you doing in my house?”
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the concert?
Because he wanted to reach new heights in his performance.
You want to know why Santa brings such a big sack?
Because he only comes once a year.
An orphan finds a genie.
Orphan: "My first wish is to be rich."
Genie: "Of course."
Orphan: "My second wish is to be famous."
Genie: "Done."
Orphan: "I wish my parents could come back!"
Genie: "I told you I can't bring people back from the dead!"
John pretended to be a doctor.
Motu came to him. He said, "I lost my hunger."
John brought some samosas for his lunch. Motu ate them. John said, "Your hunger is back!"
Then, Motu said, "I lost my taste."
John said, "Number 1, bring some water." Motu drank it and said, "This is petrol!" John said, "Your taste is back!"
Motu said, "I lost my memory."
John said, "Number 1, bring some medicine." Motu said, "But Number 1 brought water." John said, "Your memory is back!"
A pedophile brings his eight-year-old daughter to the doctor's office. The doctor asked her if she would like some candy? Her father replies, "Please, no more candy for her. I gave her enough today."
A man went into a library to get a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian said, "No, you won't bring it back."
What do trans women bring to lesbian relationships?
Something big and warm 🍆.
Why was the orphan eating cereal with water? Because he has no dad to bring him milk.
Why did the rapper bring a broom on stage?
To sweep the competition!
Why did the rapper bring a parachute to the show?
Because he wanted to drop some FLY VERSES!
What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?
One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.