Bringing jokes

Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house? Because the ghosts bring all the boos.

I'm so poor that when robbers break into my house,

they bring me things. <_>

Why do orphans go to the market?

To get the milk their parents didn't bring back.

What's the difference between a golfer and a fisherman? A fisherman has to bring proof back.

I love stairs. They always bring me up.

What's one piece of stationary gay kids always forget to bring to school? A ruler.

Bring out your weapons, people.

It's bullying time.

(Kids Doing A Science Project.) Kid 1: Did you bring Uranus?

Kid 2: Never leave home without it.

A new feature that we are bringing to the Olympics is 3D viewing. So if you're watching the javelin, I would look away now.

Why can’t Homer Simpson bring his family into Moe’s Tavern?

Because there’s a bartender in there.

An orphan finds a genie.

Orphan: "My first wish is to be rich."

Genie: "Of course."

Orphan: "My second wish is to be famous."

Genie: "Done."

Orphan: "I wish my parents could come back!"

Genie: "I told you I can't bring people back from the dead!"

John pretended to be a doctor.

Motu came to him. He said, "I lost my hunger."

John brought some samosas for his lunch. Motu ate them. John said, "Your hunger is back!"

Then, Motu said, "I lost my taste."

John said, "Number 1, bring some water." Motu drank it and said, "This is petrol!" John said, "Your taste is back!"

Motu said, "I lost my memory."

John said, "Number 1, bring some medicine." Motu said, "But Number 1 brought water." John said, "Your memory is back!"

A pedophile brings his eight-year-old daughter to the doctor's office. The doctor asked her if she would like some candy? Her father replies, "Please, no more candy for her. I gave her enough today."

I asked to borrow a book from the library. It was titled "Suicide in Ten Easy Steps." The cunt just stood and said, "Cheeky bastard, you won't bring it back!"

Why did the rapper bring a map to the studio?

Because he was searching for the PERFECT FLOW.

Why did the rapper bring a parachute to the show?

Because he wanted to drop some FLY VERSES!

Why did the rapper bring a broom on stage?

To sweep the competition!

What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?

One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.

What do trans women bring to lesbian relationships?

Something big and warm 🍆.

Why was the orphan eating cereal with water? Because he has no dad to bring him milk.