Bringing jokes

Bring out your weapons, people.

It's bullying time.

What's the difference between a golfer and a fisherman? A fisherman has to bring proof back.

I'm so poor that when robbers break into my house,

they bring me things. <_>

Why do orphans go to the market?

To get the milk their parents didn't bring back.

A new feature that we are bringing to the Olympics is 3D viewing. So if you're watching the javelin, I would look away now.

I love stairs. They always bring me up.

Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?

Because he wanted to drop higher bars!

An orphan finds a genie.

Orphan: "My first wish is to be rich."

Genie: "Of course."

Orphan: "My second wish is to be famous."

Genie: "Done."

Orphan: "I wish my parents could come back!"

Genie: "I told you I can't bring people back from the dead!"

John pretended to be a doctor.

Motu came to him. He said, "I lost my hunger."

John brought some samosas for his lunch. Motu ate them. John said, "Your hunger is back!"

Then, Motu said, "I lost my taste."

John said, "Number 1, bring some water." Motu drank it and said, "This is petrol!" John said, "Your taste is back!"

Motu said, "I lost my memory."

John said, "Number 1, bring some medicine." Motu said, "But Number 1 brought water." John said, "Your memory is back!"

A pedophile brings his eight-year-old daughter to the doctor's office. The doctor asked her if she would like some candy? Her father replies, "Please, no more candy for her. I gave her enough today."

A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.

She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"

I asked to borrow a book from the library. It was titled "Suicide in Ten Easy Steps." The cunt just stood and said, "Cheeky bastard, you won't bring it back!"

Why did the rapper bring a map to the studio?

Because he was searching for the PERFECT FLOW.

A man went into a library to get a book on how to commit suicide.

The librarian said, "No, you won't bring it back."

What do trans women bring to lesbian relationships?

Something big and warm 🍆.

Why was the orphan eating cereal with water? Because he has no dad to bring him milk.

Why do golfers bring an extra pair of socks? In case they get a hole in one.

I’ll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I’m a baker’s man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I’ll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you’re now worthless to me!

Why did the rapper bring a broom on stage?

To sweep the competition!

Why did the rapper bring a parachute to the show?

Because he wanted to drop some FLY VERSES!