Boys jokes

Boy

  • Dirty Joke: A boy fell in the mud. Clean Joke: He took a bath with bubbles. Dirty Joke: Bubbles was the girl next door.

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  • Punch Line

  • There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl's house. When he got there, he said to her father, "thank you for this moment, have a great night".

    At the dance, the girl asks the boy, "can I have some food?" He gladly replies "yes" and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, "thank you so much, I really needed something to eat". Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, "thank you SOOOO much". Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, "what is it?" She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.

  • 8
  • War

  • I'm back and wearing dead whites who are killing whites from Eastern Europe on me. Shout out my boy russia and Ukraine, they all are evil just like USA and China and the rest of the west!

  • 1
  • Parachute

  • The plane crashed. There are 5 seats in Bordeaux and usually 4 parachute seats.

    The first song goes: "I am Cristiano Ronaldo, the best player in the world, so fly with the first helmet."

    One of Ivanka Trump's former supporters said: "I was the US President's teacher." And take an umbrella and fly.

    Former US Secretary of State Donald Trump said: "I am the President of the United States. I am the president of the United States of America, not responsible to the people. Design our package and jump."

    "I'm glad," said the next passenger, Popstag, as he approached. Then the boy explained: "I still can't see anyone's problem. The President of the United States is in my bag..."

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  • Rape

  • Did you hear about the boy who got raped by a group of women in the park whilst jogging? Now there are lots of male joggers in the area.

  • 6
  • Drunk

  • "I wasn't that drunk yesterday."

    "Oh boy, you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying."

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  • Rope

  • Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"

    Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"

    Boy: "What do you mean?"

    Friend and me: "We can show you."

    Me: "I will tie the rope."

    Friend: "I will push the chair."

    Dryer

  • My wife Jean is happy, 😊 pretty, 😍 and pregnant,🤰 boy, 👦 am I glad 😊 I bought her 👩 a new whirlpool washer and dryer.

    Washer: $249.95 Dryer: $199.95

  • 2
  • Reason

  • The reason that girls are not allowed in boys' treehouses is because girls can't keep their mouths shut about boys taking turns sucking each other's hotdogs.

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  • Parachute

  • Francis Pope, Donald Trump, Barack Obama, and a little boy were on a falling airplane. There were 3 parachutes. Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps off the plane saying, “The world needs my leadership!” Barack Obama grabs a parachute and says, “I need to help make choices for our world,” so he jumps off the plane. At this point, the Pope and the little boy are on the plane. The Pope says to the boy, “take the last parachute, I am too old and I’m going to die soon one day.” The little boy says, “actually there are two, you see, Donald Trump took my backpack.”

  • 7
  • Woman

  • A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet.

    One day, the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet with her son.

    Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It's dark in here, isn't it?"

    "Yes it is," the man replies.

    "You wanna buy a baseball?" the little boy asks.

    "No thanks," the man replies.

    "I think you do want to buy a baseball," the little extortionist continues.

    "OK. How much?" the man replies, after considering the position he was in.

    "Twenty-five dollars," the little boy replies.

    "TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!" the man repeats. "That's awful expensive," but because of the position he was in, agreed to the price.

    The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car in the driveway, and again places her lover in the closet with her little boy.

    "It's dark in here, isn't it?" the boy starts off.

    "Yes it is," replies the man.

    "Wanna buy a baseball glove?" the little boy asks.

    "OK. How much?" the hiding lover responds, acknowledging his disadvantage.

    "Fifty dollars," the boy replies, and the transaction is completed.

    The next weekend, the little boy's father says, "Hey, son. Go get your ball and glove and we'll play some catch."

    "I can't. I sold them," replies the little boy.

    "How much did you get for them?" asks the father, expecting to hear the profit in terms of lizards and candy.

    "Seventy-five dollars," the little boy says.

    "SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?! That's thievery! I'm taking you to the church right now. You must confess your sin and ask for forgiveness," the father explains as he hauls the child away.

    At the church, the little boy goes into the confessional, draws the curtain, sits down, and says "It's dark in here, isn't it?"

    "Don't you start that crap in here," the priest says.

  • 1
  • Church

  • A little boy went to church. The priest said, "Get in the following positions: stand, then kneel, then bow." The little boy replies, "Can you hurry up and f**k me already?"

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  • Sex

  • A boy walks in on his parents having sex. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the boy screams at his father, and runs out of the room.

    Soon, the parents hear screams coming from the father's mother's room. They both go running. They see the little boy pumping into his grandmother like anything. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the father screams. "It's not so easy when it's your mother is it?" says the boy.

  • 3
  • Goose

  • So, Satan is in the delivery room having a child.

    Soon, a feathered creature comes out. "Doctor," says Satan, "What is it?"

    The doctor sighs. "Well, it's not a boy, and it's not a girl."

    Satan looks frustrated. "THEN WHAT IS IT?!?!?"

    The doctor looks up. "It's a goose."

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  • Boy

  • Knock knock. Who's there? A boy. A boy who? A boy who can't reach the doorbell knocking at your door.

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  • Funeral

  • Why did the family get mad at the boy for eating at the funeral? While trying to season his food, he mistook his cremated grandfather for salt.

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