Newest Boyfriend Jokes - Page 7

My ex boyfriend's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.

Girlfriend: am I pretty or ugly?

Boyfriend: your both!

Girlfriend: what do you mean by that?

Boyfriend: your pretty ugly!!!

girl- mom, meet my boyfriend mom- meet my boyfriend girls boyfriend- dad is that you are you back from the supermarket with milk mom's boyfriend- uh gtg

So a girl says to her ex I can't get you out of my mind the boyfriend I knew you we've the girl replies I see you in everything like when I'm walking down the street even at work like trash cans are everywhere

Two girls have a sleepover.

Karen: Let's go to bed. Lauren:Fine, but it's early. *Karen wakes up and exits room" *Lauren hears noise* Mikey: Your so much better than my girlfriend Karen. Lauren: *laughs* Lauren: *remembers her boyfriend is Karen's brother Mikey*

An ugly man with a gun walks into a bar. He sees a woman, and falls in love with her. Man: Hey, cute lady! Woman: Leave me alone, you ugly two faced man! I already have a boyfriend. Man: Not for long! And then the man shoots the woman's boyfriend. Woman: How dare you murder such a beautiful man! Man: Now you shall be my girlfriend. Woman: Never. And then the man takes the seat that the woman's boyfriend was sitting in before. Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Then open up your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, murder. Man: What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the world, compared to all those ugly woman? Bleuch! Woman: What's it like being the ugliest mother f***ing murder in the world, compared to all those beautiful men? And then the man orders flowers and candy. Bartender: We don't serve flowers, or candy. And the man shoots the bartender. Another man can't believe what he just saw, so he strangles the first man, and throws him out.

I was watching my boyfriends dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with the him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When i looked down, he appeared to be dead. My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn't know what to do ,so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waiting for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said ,”you know , your dogs been a little depressed lately...”

I guess age is just a number but in your boyfriends case a personal preference.

My sister boyfriend is mad because I fucked his girl.

I had a boyfriend once, he broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive," guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.

Son: mom, is it possible to make a strawberry cake for me ?

Mom: no that's impossible

Son: but it is possible for your secret boyfriend right

Mom: no no please don't tell your dad i will make a strawberry cake for you

Son: daddy has already tasted your sweet strawberry cake so because of that i felt jealous ^_^

👌😂😂😂

A Blond and her Brunette friend where chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her. To not be outdone the blond retort's. Thats nothing once we we're in the kitchen I can't believe I didn't see it coming one minute I turned and He just got it all on my face it was so thick and hard! it covered my mouth, my nose,my shoulders, and eyes it even got in my hair; and when i looked up at him all he could say was whoops the Flower went everywhere!