Both jokes
How many heterosexual men does it take to change a lightbulb in heaven?
Both of them.
What do suicidal people and apples have in common?
They both hang from trees.
Your mom is so fat, she wakes up on both sides of the bed.
What do Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker have in common?
They both died at 95.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.
Memes
So true
What are the similarities between apples and emos?
They both hang from trees.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
To all of you making jokes about orphans, it’s all fun and games until both of your parents leave you.
LMFAO (my parents left me and it’s not the funniest thing ever)
What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.
Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.
Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.
Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.
How to kick a deaf person off the plane:
Step 1: Pretend to yell and get some friends to do it, too.
Step 2: Tell your friends to raise both of their hands.
Step 3: He's out of the plane on a parachute.
What does a bungee jumper and a homosexual have in common?
When the rubber snaps, they both end up in the shit! 💩
What's the difference between my dad cumming and cancer?
Nothing, they both stain.
Why are orphans and bananas so much alike? Because they both get split.
Roses are red, Tomatoes are redder. I think we both know, I like you better.
What do Monica and Bill Clinton have in common? They both did not inhale. Lol.
What's the similarity between a 14-year-old girl and the fetus inside her?
They're both thinking, "Oh fuck, mom is gonna kill me!"
What do pigs and ink have in common?
They both go in a pen.
What's the difference between a seal and a special kid?
They both go: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!"
What does an emo kid and an apple have in common?
They both are hanging.