Both jokes
What do a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her have in common?
They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"
What do your underwear and the Starship Enterprise have in common?
They are both concerned about “Klingons near your anus”.
Why can an orphan relate to a pack of bananas?
Because they both split away from their family.
What is the difference between Madeleine McCann and a submarine?
They are both full of seamen and are at the bottom of the ocean.
What does a frozen loading screen and a Make-A-Wish kid have in common?
They both couldn't make it all the way.
Why is a rap boat like a dog?
They both get off sniffing assholes.
What's the difference between a rapist's mouth and a sewer?
Nothing, they both spout shit.
What does a crooked lawyer who is not on the ACLU payroll have in common with a crooked politician who has an office in Washington, DC?
They both sign their names using a blue pen 🖊 🖊.
What do Americans and stars have in common?
They both love shooting up.
What does a gas grenade and a baby have in common?
They both squeal when you throw them.
What the difference between cats and dogs? They dont have one both taste good
What's the difference between Madlen Makan and Stephen Hawking?
Nothing, they're both dead.
Some people think emo jokes are funny, but I think it can cut both ways.
Timmy: *grabs box of Trojans*
Daddy:...
Timmy: Well come on diddy!
Daddy: Well shit lets go son!
Both: YEE YEE
SWEET HOME ALABAMA
What do McDonald's and priests have in common?
They both stick their meat in 10 year old buns.
Jay and Andrew are best friends who are almost alike. The difference between them both is Jay is poor and well... Andrew, on the other hand, is suck-a-dick poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes up in his room, walks to the kitchen, and asks his mom, Lisa (I call her Lisa now, btw), if there is anything to eat. "No, bitch!" she replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed.
Now Andrew... wakes up, jumps out of bed, and he's in the kitchen. He sees his mom fixing some food for work after a long hard night of giving her husband blue balls. "Anything left for me, Mother?" Andrew asks. "Sorry, Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again." *so she goes to work, taking her time* Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself, "Man... I'd suck a dick for some water right now." *his mom storms back after hearing what he had said* "I'll buy you a soda if you do my first customer for me!"
What do sea turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
What do women and peanut butter have in common?
They're both easy to spread.
What does a priest and a male homosexual have in common?
They both like to suck a big cock inside the men's locker room at the gym.
What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?
CANCER!
Just kidding, they are both fun to laugh at.