The 20+ Best Blessing Jokes

These jokes cheered me up from suicide. This is amazing material. God bless all of you.

What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? A prostitute won't tell you that it is more blessed to give than it is to receive.

My grandfather never threw anything away, bless him. He died in the war holding on to a hand grenade.

I was blessed with a 9 inch penis the priest is in jail now.

After a long day of work, Kanye West goes to his Kanye Nest to take his Kanye Rest. He wakes up feeling his Kanye Best. Then he’ll get Kanye Dressed on his Kanye Vest to go on a Kanye Quest. He goes to church and becomes Kanye Blessed, then to a hotel room to be a Kanye Guest.

I was blessed with a 9inch dick. Fair to say that priest is in jail now

Why can't an orphan get married. It doesn't have its parents blessing.

A father is listening to his daughter say her prayers before bed. The daughter says "God bless Mummy and God Bless Daddy and God bless Grandma and good bye Grandad." The father says, "Good bye Grandad? Why is that?" The daughter says, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, Grandad drops dead. The father can't believe the coincidence, but decided not to question it. That night, he listens to the daughter's prayers again. She says, "God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma." The father is shocked again and asks his daughter why, but she says again, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, the Grandma drops dead and now the Father is getting worried but doesn't know what to do, so he tries to forget about it. That night, he listens to his daughter again and she says, "God bless Mummy and goodbye Daddy." The father is now terrified and goes to work the next day sweating, cancels all of his meetings, and hides in his office for the whole day. He doesn't go home and stays there until midnight. He's very surprised. 'I've cheated death!' he thinks to himself, then rushes home. His wife asks, "Where have you been?!" and the husband says, "Oh don't ask me any questions, today's been miserable." The wife replies, "Your days been miserable? Well, listen to my day! Firstly, the milk man drops dead on the porch..."

do you know why orphans cant get married. because they will never get there parents blessing

Wayne Couzens the police officer who killed Sarah Everard , has been complaining about receiving a whole life Tariff for her murder ...

I think he should count his blessings , he could of had it worse ...

He could of married her !

Knock Knock Whos there? Ach Ach who Bless you

A person had a child named bl another named es and one named s the next was named you , they were a very unholy family. There children were shamed upon because their names spell out bless you

Me: knock, knock,

Other person: who’s there?

Me: Atch

Other person: Atch who

Me: Bless you

know knock whos there a a who bless you

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Knock, knock. -- "Who's there?" -- "Ash." -- "Ash who?" -- "Bless you."

May our days be abundant, a dance of delight, Will I navigate life with courage, taking flight. May our journey be a beauty, a blessing so sweet, I will celebrate friendships, where hearts and souls meet.

May our nights be bright, with laughter and cheer, May we live with love, eliminating every fear. I will grow in kindness, a serenade of grace, May our lives be a marvel, a splendid embrace.