Yo mama so old, her birth certificate expired.
How do you know if an Asian is a failure? Figure it out, because they'll all tell you their parents said they were a failure from birth.
What do you call a parent that is pregnant?
Buy one get one free
Me: Hi Jacob Jacob: Hi Me: your parents went to jail for littering when you were born Jacob: GOO GOO GAH GAH
What do u call an Asian that was born at the wrong time wrong tai ming
What do you call a person that is both black and Hispanic, and was born on Wednesday? Miérkoolaids.
Jimmy caught his parents having sex and ask what they were doing and asked if he could join because it looked fun and hid mom ask why and he replied," Well Mommy I see you and the mailman do it and when he leaves he says 'I can't wait to cum back, that was fun!' and now you and Daddy are doing it so I wanted to try!" the dad gets angry at this and scolds the mother saying, "I can't believe you did that when I was gone babe!" the mother was very sad and then the father left and went to get divorce papers and when he left the mother told Jimmy that he'd understand when he was older. 18 years later... Jimmy has a gf and asks her to call him a sus name and she says only in the bed and he agrees, later when they both are having sex Jimmy gf asks if he used a condom or not, and he said that he didn't know what that was so then 9months later she was pregnant but abortion was illegal so she gives birth and puts the child up for adoption. A few years later Jimmy has a good job and his wife now asked to have a child and then she asked if she could call him a sus name while he did he, he said sure, and on they went with their clothes off and under the sheets, Jimmy gets a call from his boss saying he needed to go over really fast it was an emergency and so Jimmy left really fast, however, his wife was very unfaithful and called in a man to come as soon as possible and then they did it, Jimmy came home after 10-18 hours and was very happy and went to tell his wife the great new, but then he heard strange sounds coming from the room and so he wen inside and was shocked to see his father and hs wife having sex, Jimmy though didn't care that his wife had cheated on him he just said, " Well baby, tonights your lucky night" and without any hesitation ripped off his clothes and jumped in the bed and they then had a threesome and the wife said she was very happy that she had been done x2 and when Jimmy asked why she said,"Well I had to dicks in my vagina and now I'm so refreshed!" Jimmy was happy to hear that and then had a woman come over so that his wife and a woman would have a threesome again and so then Jimmy saw that it was his mother and he really didn't want to do it but his wife convinced him too and so he did it and his mother was going for Jimmy's wife more and more until Jimmy no longer was in the threesome and now only Jimmys wife and his mother were doing it, this made Jimmy mad and this bit both of their boobs and they were shocked but then they pinned him down and bit his dick and then grabbed a bottle of alcohol and made him drink until he was drunk and then he started to eat their ass' and then called his father to come to have sex again and then they all had a foursome, the wife then called the police and had then all arrested and said," You all sucked" and Jimmy said," What about you too? You sucked me!" They all died of mental desires in jail. The end.
This is a very confusing story so pls don't say any non-sex things in the comment.
Yo momma's so ugly, her birth certificate was an apology letter.
your forehead is so big your mum spent an extra hour in the birth delivery room
What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD? A trip without kids.
Woman: A woman’s life is harder, there is mestration, Periods, birth... Man: The Men have to deal with Women
Roses are red vilots are blue i was born pretty what happend to you
yo hair line as long as george washingtont date of birth
Little of topic but Mum. You.wouldnt be here without me Son and my birth certificate is a sorry letter from the condom factory Mum fair point
My wife is so ugly when she was born. The doctor said I did everything I could but she pulled through anyways. When she was born the doctor hung himself with the umbilical cord. He pushed her back in said not done. The doctor slapped her mother. The doctor looked at her and said twins. He didn't know what end to slap. He threw her away and kept the after birth.
You're so skinny, your mom actually enjoyed your birth!
Why do we call it dead bodies? Nobody says alive bodies! like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG ITS FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones tho." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on husband, help me with the bodies." If its a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"
Jack and Jill wanted some pills So they went to the dealer he saw they were kids and said fuck this shit then jacked rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth pills
your forehead is so big that your mom stayed in the delivery room just to give birth to your head
