Bigger

Bigger jokes

Penis

217 views ·

My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!

State

5 views ·

A Texan and an Alaskan walk in a room. The Alaskan says, "My state is bigger than yours." The Texan says, "It won't be when it melts!"

Dick

52 views ·

I was walking down the street when I saw this dude just vibing. He was telling every guy that walked by if his dick was bigger than theirs, they have to give him 50 bucks.

Long story short, I walked away with 100 bucks that day.

Child

103 views ·

What to gift a child molester who already has everything? A bigger county with more believers.

Boat

101 views ·

Once there were twins, Mark and Michael. Mark was the owner of an old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible." Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted.

Insult

279 views ·

Bully... you're such an asshole. Me... Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.

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  • Comeback

    29 views ·

    Ex-Boyfriend: You have no ass, so we're through!

    Me: Stop being a dickhead, dude!! It ain't gonna make your little sausage any bigger!

    Baby

    10 views ·

    Some babies may be delivered via stork, but some bigger babies are gonna need a crane.

    Insult

    2 views ·

    Highest level of insult by a girl by seeing a guy's dick:

    "I can shit bigger logs than that thing of your's" 🤣

    Sandwich

    55 views ·

    There are two siblings, a little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night and take her home. So they get to the bigger brother's house and walk into his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk beds. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, "Whenever you feel good, say 'lettuce,' and whenever you want to switch positions say 'tomato'." The girl constantly is saying "lettuce, tomato," and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, "Can you guys stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over me."

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  • Penis

    3 views ·

    The bigger your shoe size is, the bigger your penis is.

    The smaller your shoe size, the smaller your penis is.