Behavior jokes
Texter 1: You know People treat me like a god.
Texter 2: How?
Texter 1: They ignore my existence unless they need something.
Yo mama so dumb, she put a watch in a piggybank and said she was saving time.
Me: *posts random joke about a duck*
That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."
That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."
Bro it’s a joke...
Why are gay men so rude? Because they're fucking assholes.
Why are gay guys so rude?
Because they’re fucking assholes.
When I was recently standing in front of a huge puddle with my buddy, I remembered how he tricked me a week ago. So I tricked him...
Old members come back, we’re bullying the pussies and idiots off the site.
There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”
Are you angry?
Go bully an orphan!
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."
Why do women always have sex with the lights off?
Because they never like to see a man having a good time.
If I were a history teacher, I’d make the two twins stand up and throw a paper airplane at them.
Are you sure your father isn't a thief?
Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
"Did you hear about the flasher who exposed himself to two elderly ladies in Central Park? One had a stroke. The other couldn’t quite reach."
I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?
Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, Father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation, and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, Father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired!"
-not my joke
Did you hear about the bossy man at the bar? He ordered everyone around.
How do you get a squirrel's attention? Act like a nut.
How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?
The psychologist will thank you for coming.
What do a gay man and a tumbleweed have in common?
They blow and blow until they wind up on a fence in Wyoming.