Bars jokes
The future, the present, and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.
A Roman guy walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says, "Can I have 5 beers please?"
Two gay men walk into a bar. One of them turned to the other and said, "Hey, what do you say we get out of here?"
Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road?
A: 'Cause someone let go of the handle bars.
A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling.
The cashier says, "If you can grab it, your meal's free!"
The man then said, "Nah, the stakes are too high."
A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender asks what he wants. The man says, "I would like one beer for me and one for the road."
A redneck and a Black man walk into a bar and order a drink.
A guy is sitting in a bar, feeling sad. "What's the matter?" asks the bartender.
"My paternal uncle died three months ago."
"Wow! No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that. He left me a third of his estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
"My maternal uncle died two months ago."
"Two uncles in two months? No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that either. He left me half of his estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
"My father died last month."
"Your dad too? No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that. He left me his entire estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
With a massive sob, the guy says, "None of my relatives died this month!"
Someone goes into a bar and asks for a blow job. The barman goes, "Me too." But then the guy goes, "I meant the drink."
A blind guy walks into the door of a bar...
That's it... that's the end of the joke.
I once went to the bar for a pint, but the strippers there didn't have that much breast milk.
What do gay girls order in a bar?
Pussy juice.
So two guys walk into a bar. One says, "Can I have something to drink?"
The other says, "You wish!" LOLOLOLOLOLOLO dab on the haters - Jake Paul wreeeeecckkked.................... DABDABDABDBABABDBABDBABDBABDBDABDBsabBaDBAD,,,,,,,,,,five fo e the winners. KILL MATPAT, THE EARTH IS FLAT AND A DONUT
People often ask me what I would do for a Klondike bar. Well, I'd straight up put 5 hijackers on Flight 175 before it departed from Logan Airport at 8:14 a.m. on September 11, 2001.
A time traveler walks into a bar.
He orders a beer and a shot of whiskey.
Three Vulcans walk into a bar.
The bartender asks the first Vulcan, "Y'all want a drink?" The first Vulcan says, "I don't know."
The bartender asks the second Vulcan, "Y'all want a drink?" The second Vulcan says, "I don't know."
The bartender asks Spock, "Y'all want a drink?" Spock says, "Yes."
A mushroom walks into a bar and tries to hit on a blonde. When she turns him down, he goes to her and says, "C'mon, I'm a fun guy!"
Why did the rapper join a gym?
To get those SICK BARS.
What's the best part of being an orphan?
All the chips and candy bars are family sized.
A drunk guy runs into a bar... He bangs his head and falls down, why?
Because he is in a prison cell.