You know how to get 10,000 followers? Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
Attention Jokes
I have OCD and ADD, so everything has to be perfect... but not for very long.
That one teacher that flips on and off the light switch to get the students' attention... that one kid with epilepsy...
A man finds his son climbing the roof of his house. The kid kept using all sorts of material to climb up, but the dad didn't pay much attention.
Next day the kid went to the state tower and kept climbing using some adhesive gloves. The dad asks his son for a second time: "Son! Why are you doing this?" The son replies: "You told me to aim up high!"
Wow, I can't believe you'd take the time to read this!
Q: What did the grandma cat say to her grandson when she saw him slouching?
A: You need to pay more attention to my pawsture.
My blind son got hit by a car when he was riding his new bike. He should have been paying attention.
Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Wanna go ride a bike?
Rules of Dark humor:
1. All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits.
2. No saying "Me" or "My Life" as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes.
3. Don't Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that.
I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site.
- Sincerely, Zane
Hey girl, are you a drill sergeant, because you have my privates' attention.
I'm treated like God when I'm home, I'm usually ignored until someone wants something.
A man shoots up a school and then fakes his own death. He then later returns to shoot up the same school. He repeats the process a few times until the police catch him. When they ask why he did it, he replied, "I wondered when you would check if I was still breathing."
Why did Mia Khalifa become so famous?
Because she blew up.
Why did the Royal Wedding get more publicity than the SantaFe school shooting?
'Cause Royal Weddings don't happen every week.
My sister reminds me of 911: one moan of "OMG" got everyone's attention.
Bambi was calmly eating grass. All of a sudden, a red dot pointed near his heart caught his attention. He looked around anxiously, and he saw a man in camouflage. He whispered, "Time to join mother, Bambi!" Bambi knew what this meant. He ran. He heard a gunshot, followed by a wave of extreme pain. Bambi fell to the ground. He glanced at his leg, which was no longer attached to his body. The man in camouflage came up to him and stabbed him in the heart. Everything went black...
Mr. and Mrs. Potato were walking down the street when a french fry caught the attention of Mr. Potato.
Mrs. Potato said: "I see you eye-balling that French girl!"
After all these walkers, you still walk over me.
My girlfriend said she wanted to be pampered. I told her I wasn't into diaper fetishes.
I named my daughter Kennedy so when I talked about how her brain was shot out of her head, people just thought I paid really close attention in history.
