Newest Ass Jokes - Page 9 - Worst Jokes Ever

If a gay peson is vegan how does he have sex he will keep getting meat stuck in his ass and in his throught

The pastor sees little Johnny sitting on the church steps. Little Johnny is fixated on something. The pastor looks closer and sees that Johnny is stirring up something in an old coffee can. He says, "What you got there little Johnny?" "This here is turpentine, the most POWERFUL liquid in the world.", says Johnny. The pastor shakes his head, sits down next to Johnny and says, "Now you know that's not true son. Holy water is the most powerful liquid in the world. One drop of holy water on a pregnant woman's stomach and the next morning she'll pass a baby boy." Little Johnny says, "Well that may be true. But one drop of this on a cats ass and he'll pass a motorcycle!"

It is a known fact that you cannot say “harassment” without “her ass.” I guess you could say, “harassment something.”

Russia be like we're strong, gets ass beat up by a comedian with a hook nose...

#i stand with Ukraine 🇺🇦

Capital extra is a radio station! Capitol extra is Ashley's dead ass!

I ear ass your dad's ass and he likes it

fortnite battlepass i just shit out my ass fortnite fortnite did a mention fortnite fortnite fortnite

Y'all are so rude on here- If you don't like what I put on MY profile you can click your rude ass off of my profile and look at some other fucking jokes. DO NOT INTERACT WITH ME IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING RUDE TO SAY ABOUT ME!!

What do blind kids and orphans have in common? I fucking hate their whiny asses and beat them up.

This person ( :I ) It wasn't meant to be a joke it was just to make space like your mothers ass in space because it so big.

My crushes best friend came up to me and called me my crushes dog 🐕 so then I say wow your an ass for calling me a bich he then looks at me wide eyed and I just walk away.

When God had to take a shit from making a good wife. You pasted between his ass cheeks...

There were two twins and they were both very tall. The next thing they know they were on the floor and there were planes up their asses

FREE MY ÑIGGA EDP HE INNOCENT ONCE UPON A TIME I WENT OVER TO HIS HOUSE AND HE FARTED SO GAHDAMN MUCH INTO MY MOUTH THAT I STARTED DROOLING A HERSHEY WATERFALL THIS ÑIGGA IS SO SEXY AND I LOVE WHEN HE SITS HIS FAT ASS ON TOP OF ME TYSON U JUST JEALOUS YOU AIN’T GOT NO ONE LIKE BRYANT U RETARDED LOOKING ASS BITCH I DARE YOU TO GET A PARTNER AS LOYAL AND INNOCENT AS EDP FREE MY ÑIGGA BIG HOMIE CHEESE HEAD 474747 HE INNOCENT

A bus full of Nuns falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says to them “Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. ”

St. Peter turns to the first Nun in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” The Sister Responds “Well... there was this one time... that I kinda sorta... touched one with the tip of my pinky finger...” St. Peter says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” and she did so.

St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” “Well.... There was this one time... that I held one for a moment...” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so.

Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!” Sister Susan responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!”

I hope you never find out whether that pressure in your ass is a fart or a shit

clap clap clap that ass bitch shake that cameltoe let them see them pussy lips

Me and my friends were having a party the other day when some bitch came bitching about the noise. Thankfully she was hot and had a nice ass so it was enjoyable raping her. The next day when i woke up I found her body only half eaten, her lower body was still intact so I went for seconds to fuck off the hangover. Then I had breakfast, her ass tasted good with some ketchup.