Ares jokes
I started debating whether or not suicide is a good option. Self-harm just hasn’t been cutting it lately.
To whoever you are, you are loved.
Why are babies called bundles of joy?
When you break the bundle, it gives you joy.
Why are mountains always tired? Because they don't Everest.
Fun fact: Most of the black holes in the universe are found in Africa!
While an unsuspecting father's at the office making money, this 18 year old son will spend his day in mother's cunny.
We're at the breakfast table, father eats and takes his calls, he doesn't know my mother's toes are kneading at my balls.
If a fly loses its wings, is it now a walk? Wait a minute, I found out a mind blower. So the 🌎 is the 3rd planet from the sun, doesn't that mean all countries are called the 3rd country of 🌎? If I get 10 likes, I'll do one mind-blowing fact daily.
What is the difference between an orphan and a criminal?
Criminals are wanted.
My dad died the other day, but I was able to hear his last words: "Son, are you still holding the ladder?"
Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? -- One. They are efficient and don't have humor.
What are the differences between Santa and Joe Biden?
The kids actually want to sit on Santa’s lap.
Carrie Underwood and ChatGPT are not the same. ChatGPT is able to create a soul.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. Orphanages are really fun to work at.
Roses are red. Violets are too. You better run, I’m following you!
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house is!
A homeless man sits in front of a Home Depot. A man walking out of the store hands him some money and asks, "Why are you in front of the Home Depot?" And the man says, "Isn't it obvious? Hoping somebody accidentally drops the house they just bought."
Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
A: Either way they'll kill your dog.
Why are priests called father? Because it's too sus to call them daddy!
We all know that Lincoln and Kennedy are the most open-minded presidents in the world.