Ares jokes
So, a man walks past a gun store and sees all the guns are half price. Then the man says, "Wow, school supplies are low this week."
Man: Doctor, where are you taking me?
Doctor: To the morgue.
Man: But I’m not dead yet.
Doctor: Are we there yet?
Ur mama so fat that when she went to the ocean, all the whales started singing, "We are family," even knowing your fatter than me.
You're the sriracha to my hoisin sauce.
And together, we are pho-ever.
Yo mama so old, her photos are in a museum and her friends are in a graveyard.
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Well... I mean, they could go to church and try to gather that someone hit them.
To Gwen and Freshfry: Hi Gwen and Freshfry, you have been so amazing to me and now to my sister. You are the people who I look up to. People are mean to us because I am adopted. Thank you for all of your support!
Random guy: Hi, how old are you?
Me: 15
The guy: You're so young, age is just a number.
Me: Do you know what else is a number?
The guy: What?
Me: 911
I'm evilest-evil man.
"Yes, you are," scared guy.
No, me, it me: Evil super evil boy!
When you are chilling in the World Trade Center, and then you suddenly get airplane WiFi.
Are you a bull, because I wanna ride you like a rodeo.
Barack Obama and Tork Poettschke are at the Natural History Museum. They stop in front of a showcase.
"These are the eggs from the ostrich!"
"Aha, and where are Trump's eggs?"
Why are Americans bad at chess?
Because they lost two towers.
People's music when friends are around: *rock*
When they are gone: "Come on, vamanos, everybody let's go!"
Are you choked?
Why do pedophiles come in last place for every race... because they are always in the back (if you know what I mean)?
What does your mum have in common with your dad?
They are both men.
"Mommy, mommy! Are we janitors?"
"Shut up and pass me the mop."
If your kid beats up an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What do an orphan's parents and the Predator have in common?
They are both invisible.