Are jokes

You don't have to worry about running while boys are around. Even I can't see anything there.

Q: Why are orphans so successful? A: Because when they were younger, they got told, "Go big or go home," and only had one option.

Why are orphans good at dodge ball?

Because no one misses them.

Kid: Which were me, are your parents?

Orphan: What are parents?

When your mama went to Sea World, the whales started singing, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"

Yo mama's so poor that when I was walking down the street, I saw her kicking the trash can, and I asked, "What are you doing?" She said, "I'm moving!"

Friend: Hi!

Me: Who are you?

Friend: ...your friend?

Me: What are you talking about? The doctor already said I couldn’t have any.

If you are a girl and your favorite movie as a kid was Mulan, they successfully made a man out of you.

Q: What are cheetahs?

A: The worst card players!

Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.

You are like a software update. Whenever I see you, I immediately think, "Not now."

Yo mama is so fat, when she's walking down the street, there are cracks all over the sidewalk.

A woman having labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”

“Don’t worry,” said Doc to the worried husband.

“Those are just contractions.”

If you text your crush and they leave you on read, just know that "read" has four letters. You know what also has four letters? "Mine." So that basically means that you are theirs. :)

On a scale from 1 to America, how free are you this weekend?

Three boys are in the 4th grade; one is black, one is white, and the other is Hispanic. Who has the biggest penis?

The black one... he's 13!

For some reason a group of emo kids are following me because I gave them a Happy Meal.

Why are blind people bad at catching things? Because they never see it coming.

Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces:

"Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!"

Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!"

Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though."

Nuns: "Ugh! No, thank you then..."

Roses are red, violets are blue. I was born pretty, what happened to you?