Appearance jokes
My wife told me she was fat and depressed. She asked me to compliment her, so I said, "You have perfect eyesight!"
Your hairline's so ugly, it turned Medusa to stone!
Donald Trump announced he will run for prez today. His hair will on Friday.
Yo hairline go back so far you could drive 1,000,000 miles and still not find it.
Your hairline dates so far back like when your dad left.
Your hairline is so far back that you have four faces to wash every day.
Your hairline is so big it took your mom a map to find it.
Three boys are playing on a slide when a genie appeared.
The genie says, "Whatever you shout when you go down the slide, I will grant you a bucket full of."
The first boy goes down the slide shouting, "diamonds!", and he gets a bucket of diamonds.
The second boy goes down the slide and shouts, "gold!", and gets a bucket of gold.
The third boy, who never listens or pays attention, goes down the slide and shouts "weeeeeeee!"
Your hairline's so messed up that even Martin Luther King Jr. couldn't have a dream about it.
Long hair Danny, the fanny.
My friend looks like a homeless, thanks for the jokes.
What do you call a guy with a bald head who loves to eat biscuits, raisins, and caster sugar?
Gary Baldy (Garibaldi)!
Does that dick match that forehead? 👀
You are so ugly, when you went to a haunted house, you came back with a job application.
You're so ugly that if you looked in the mirror, you would walk into the light.
Your hairline is like the economy, it's going down.
A 7-foot-tall man walks into a restaurant with his 4-foot-tall girlfriend, and the maitre d' says to the waiter, “He must be nuts over her.”
Your hairline's less straight than my dad's.
What did one man say to his friend who had a receding hairline?
He said, “Hey, friend, I can see that your head definitely has a brighter future than mine.”
Your hairline is so bad that it looks like you have Ironman's helmet on your head.