ANS jokes

What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common? Firstly, they both went from black to white, and secondly, they both get turned on by kids.

If you ever get bored, tell an orphan to take two days off their calendar. If they ask why, say, "Because you're missing Father's Day and Mother's Day."

Tim and Tom were at work. Tim said, "I'm sick of this. I'm going to act like an idiot to get sent home." So Tim was on the roof saying, "I am a light bulb!" The boss walked in and said, "Tim, go home, you're acting like a dick!" Then Tom started packing up and Tim said, "Tom, why are you packing up?" Tom says, "I can't work in the fucking dark, can I?"

A kid just becomes an orphan, well, I guess it's better than being a hobo.

I heard there is a zozo hobo who eats all your Pringles.

If you're ever down one day, just go to the orphanage and bully an orphan because what is he going to do about it? He has no parents.

joe: Are your mom and dad nice?

zozo: Well, they were until I murdered them over a bottle of Pringles.

joe: Oh, so you are an orphan and a murderer.

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  • There is a really, really small guy and his name is Adam, so I say, "Hey, look, it's an atom!"

    Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar? They don't have Father's or Mother's Day.

    Let's get this right. What's the difference between an egg and a wank?

    You can beat an egg, but you can't beat...

    What is the difference between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg, but you can't beat your...

    Living in Houston, Texas, and realizing that hurricanes are an annual threat, my ex-wife called me and asked what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer? Take the 610 loop, dear!