And jokes

What do you call someone who has sex with foals, calves, and lambs? A Quadrupedophile.

Mommy, mommy! Are we bank robbers?

Shut up and pass me the note.

"Mommy, mommy! Are we janitors?"

"Shut up and pass me the mop."

Mommy, mommy! Do we own a sweatshop?

Shut up and keep sewing!

When the teacher says she'll call your parents but you're an orphan.

Mommy, mommy! Are we liars?

"Shut up and cross your fingers when you say that."

There were ten in the bed and the little one said... "Roll over..."

What do girl emos and boy emos have in common?

1. They both want to die.

2. They both cut to die faster.

3. They both listen to emo songs.

4. They like "I wanna die" song/"Miss wanna die."

So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.

If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.

Why do orphans like Spider-Man?

'Cause they really enjoy Far From Home and No Way Home. Damn, was he mad about Spider-Man Homecoming!

What's the difference between me and an orphan's parents?

I actually come back with the milk.

I thought you were just raising your eyebrow, but I checked the x-ray, and your skull shifted 128 degrees to the right.

Off-topic, but why is the picture in the baby category feet? And nasty feet at that? What am I, Dan Schneider?

It’s Christmas and Sally has a gift. She got a Barrie. Just kidding, she still hasn’t opened it.

I'm an Alabama gamer and I wanna be free.

I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?

At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.

Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?

Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.

What does a pizza and a Mexican have in common?

One can feed a family.