And jokes

A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"

He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"

What do inner city schools and databases have in common?

Their problems are usually caused by a race condition.

What’s white and crunchy and swings through trees?

A meringue-atang.

Hey, math:

I’m really tired of trying to find your X. Accept that she’s gone, and solve your own problems, dude!

What do you call a cross between a computer and a vampire bat?

Love at first byte! <3

In our history class we were on our China unit and learning a little about gunpowder.

And I said "WOAH THAT'S LIT!"

What's the difference between anal and oral sex?

An and Or!

Evan, this is Mya, and your mom told me you were adopted, so we are done. Bye, don’t talk to me.

If there are 12 fish and 6 drown, how many are left?

12, because fish don't drown.

What's the difference between broccoli and a booger?

Kids won't eat broccoli.

What's red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint.

What time is it when you get home and you can walk walk?

Spanish is difficult. When my mom gives me food, she says "toma," and that's drink in English, so I always drink my food.

Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young to be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.

Why are the best used guns from France?

Because they have never been fired and they have only been dropped once.

What do orphans, parents, and a ball have in common?

If you throw them, they both will never come back.

Why do women wear makeup and perfume?

Because they're ugly and smell bad.

A blind man walks into a bar and starts to swing his guide dog around his head. The bartender asks him nervously, "Are you okay?" The blind man replies, "Yeah, I’m just looking around!"

Abdi and Tunde are real.

What’s the difference between Rosa Parks and Muhammad Ali?

One fought for freedom, the other fought for fun.