And jokes

What do you call a cat with two legs instead of four?

Dead and without use, that's what I feel like.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Hot Wheels!"

Chuck: That's my sister, mister, and I'm gonna save her!

Red: snooore, snoooore

Silver: *straining to get outta buff eagle's grip*

Chuck: *goes super sonic speed and breaks outfit*

Chuck VS RED

Both LOSE!

A boy went to a genie and said, "I want to be like Batman."

He went home, his parents weren't there.

Me and my girlfriend broke up, and I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

Your forehead is so big, I took a picture of it last Christmas, and it’s still printing.

I love to decorate my room because it's a great way to express your heart, though I just remembered, my room is pretty black and empty...

Yo mama is so fat that she got on the scale, and it says, "Lose some pounds before you get on the scale, or it will break!"

Yo mama is so fat that she stepped on the scale and it says, "Hey fat b****, break your fat a** in half so you won't weigh as much!"

Why are Helen Keller jokes so funny?

Because she’s blind and deaf.

I don't blame Amber Heard for wanting Elon Musk, especially if Johnny Depp is hairy and smells like a port-o-potty full of cigarettes and gunsmoke.

What do apples and orphans have in common?

The apple gets picked.

Why do orphans not like jokes?

Because they hate your "mom" and "dad" joke because they miss their parents. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I said something in your ear, and then it echoed because of the size of your forehead because your brain [is] small.

People, when your lover cheats on you, do this!

1. Start a conversation. 2. Say, "What's that smell?" 3. They will smell around. 4. Say, "OMG, it's a b****," and walk away and ignore them.

A handicapped person and an orphan get into a fight. The orphan says, "At least I have two functional legs." The handicapped person says, "At least I have two functional parents."

These jokes are EGGxactly why I became a comedian, and I know how to BAKE on breakfast.

2 jokes in a row babyyyyy!

Why can't women just shut the fuck up! I hate women. They need to know their place and stay in the kitchen and be baby makers...

What is the difference between an orphan and a homeless person? Nothing, haha.

I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.