And jokes

What's the difference between fruit and a freshly killed corpse?

I don't eat the fruit.

Daniel takes his frustrations out on Shaenaya and his sexual frustrations out on Arunima.

Men and depression have something in common; they’re always talking.

Why did the autistic kid walk across a busy road?

He was chasing his mind and got hit by a car.

My grandfather told me I’m too reliant on technology, so I unplugged his life support and called him a hypocrite. I doubt he ever said that to anyone ever again.

To Gwen and Freshfry: Hi Gwen and Freshfry, you have been so amazing to me and now to my sister. You are the people who I look up to. People are mean to us because I am adopted. Thank you for all of your support!

What do you get when you cross a fat christian nationalist that is heteroflexable, a christian nationalist politician who is also a born again christian, a conservative republican that has a small penis, and a tv evangelist on steroids?

Congratulations! 10 years+ record of hide and seek with your parents, and they're still hiding!

They hide so well, they probably forgot about you. Mwah. <3

Let's make this post have the same likes and dislikes.

A fat man was checking his weight and sucking in his fat belly. A physicist saw it and said that's not how the law of conservation of mass works.

Plot twist: The fat man jumped on the physicist and proved him wrong. Now the physicist doesn't have mass.

Man, we all have the one cool sibling, then the strong sibling, and then you, the one who plays on their iPad or computer all day. Then, when you are on vacation, you are doing nothing at all.

I gave the blind kid a gun and said it was a hair dryer.

I gave the blind kid a gun and said it was a hairdryer.

I walk in on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said, "Mum, you really spoil those dogs!"

What do orphans and people eating oranges have in common? They both are eating balls.

What do an orphan and a homeless person have in common?

They have no one to call "Dad."

Ask an orphan this: "What's the difference between cancer and your dad? Cancer comes back!"

What's the difference between an orphan's dad and a boomerang?

The boomerang comes back.

Good Morning Everyone, have a good and positive day!

What do the Flintstones and the building next to the Twin Towers have in common? They both live next to the rubble.