And jokes

Masochists and sadists are made for each other.

The parents used to hit him.

His parents got into a car crash and died.

He became an orphan in an orphanage. The people there hit him. He looked up and said "Parents?"

Why did the wall fall over?

A drunk driver hit it going 90mph and died.

What's the difference between a woman and a freezer?

A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

When the school shooter starts doing Fortnite dances and the autistic kid joins in.

An LDS preacher knocks on the door with a chalice of wine offering to do the sacrament.

The person living there points and says, "Begone, foul blood-drinker!"

And promptly the preacher bursts into flames, leaving nothing but ash.

To Mr. Nice Guy, you are nice, sweet, and caring! I am so grateful to be your friend!

I was stark nude. Hehe, I was. I truly and sincerely was.

The nurses giggled and said, "Joseph, why the hell is your wiener so loving?"

My penis purred and stroked their hands. I laughed and said, "I do not know."

Hey, I just wanna be in bed. I just wanna stay ahead. I just feel like I am dead, And I like that color red. Hey, I am not the big fat loser, And you're just a big accuser, You user and excuser.

Say this to you sister, toxic BF, anyone :)

I went to a depressed person and said, "Do you wanna hang with me?"

My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."

I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.

A magic genie tells Tom, "I can make anything of yours disappear!"

Tom raises his mug and says, "Okay, get rid of my tea."

Genie: Poof!

Tom: It didn't work.

I saw an orphan on the street. I said, "Where are your parents?" He cried and said, "My mum and dad died in a car crash!" 😆😆😂😂🤣

Why are Putin and Zelensky neighbors?

Apparently, a big dick needs a great set of balls next to it.

"Vladymoron Pootin and Drunkard Chump sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."

Eugenics is Hitler-like and, more importantly, feminist thinking.

Why were the Twin Towers upset? Because they ordered pepperoni and cheese pizza, but instead got plain!

What's green and has a thousand nipples?

A garbage bag in the alley behind a breast cancer clinic.

What's the difference between Donald Trump and an orange?

The orange tastes good.

Why were the Twin Towers workers disappointed? Because they ordered a ham and cheese, but all they got was a plane.