And jokes

My friend who is in a wheelchair told me a joke, and I burst out laughing. I told him he should be a stand-up comedian.

The two brothers were sitting next to each other. They played with planes all day long. They got too violent, and now their sister (World Trade Center) stands there. The brothers were put up for adoption, and the planes were given back to their owners.

Why are there only 363 days for orphans?

Because they don't have Mothers' and Fathers' Day.

What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.

Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.

Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.

Your hairline is lookin' so crusty like KFC chicken and be so discombobulated that it looks like satellite signals. It gives me flippin' sun radiation.

Your mum is so fat she sat on Walmart and lowered the prices.

My sister thinks she's so smart and funny. The only thing that is funny is her face.

My 14 year old daughter went shopping at a grocery story.

She gets to the register and she asked the cashier to scan her scarred wrist.

The cashier scanned it and replied with, "Ma'am this item is worthless."

What's the difference between being gay and straight? Well, it is the hole.

Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?

Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.

What’s 8 inches and women scream when they see it?

A puppy, you dirty monkey!

Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?

A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.

How to kick a deaf person off the plane:

Step 1: Pretend to yell and get some friends to do it, too.

Step 2: Tell your friends to raise both of their hands.

Step 3: He's out of the plane on a parachute.

A 17 year old pregnant Juanita flew all the way to NY from TX to get an abortion. Initially, she was denied the procedure because she wasn't COVID boosted, but after she explained the father was religious and wanted to be involved, they quickly resolved the threat.

What does a bungee jumper and a homosexual have in common?

When the rubber snaps, they both end up in the shit! 💩

I gave a blind person a gun and said it was a hair dryer.

What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?

One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer; the other's just a watermelon. 😁😁

What do you do if you see a nigger shot 50 times? Stop laughing and reload.

Okay, 19 dollar Fortnite card. Who wants it?

And yes, I’m giving it away. Remember: Share, share, share! And trolls: Don’t get BLOCKED!

Morbius was awesome, and the Batman sucked.