And jokes
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”
“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”
What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?
They can both be replaced.
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
I killed 5 orphans and tried to sell their organs.
Nobody still wanted them.
What do an M&M and juice have in common?
Window.
Memes
What does a ripped jacket and a golfer have in common?
They both have a hole in one.
Everybody add @christianisni22 on Snap!
He's a hot babe and he's single.
A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."
What do the Twin Towers and a bad joke have in common? They never land well.
Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.
I tell my therapist I’m scared of the 3rd, 9th, and 15th letter of the alphabet.
Doctor: Oh, I see.
Me: Ahhhh!!!!!
There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.
One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.
My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.
Your mum's so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball player?
A baseball player has a home to run to.
I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."
I would make a joke about 9/11, but my career would crash and burn.
What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.