And jokes

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they sit in the dark and cry xdddd.

"When someone asks for a dad joke and you send them to the orphan page."

What is the difference between apples and orphans?

Apples actually get picked.

Some guy interviewed me and asked how it felt to kill thousands of people. I replied, “I don’t know. I’ve only killed communists.”

A man is depressed and he sighs. A bully says, "Stop sighing, you sound like some guys having a threesome!"

Q: What do Satan and a priest have in common?

A: They both love naughty souls.

A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."

The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.

What is the same with emos and orphans? They both are unwanted.

Me and my friend roasting each other.

Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.

Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.

What do Ligma and Bofa have in common?

They both ride on my dick.

Lady: "Can I lick your balls?"

Me: "Ummmmm, ok?"

Lady: *grabs ball sack and licks my balls*

Me: "I'm gonna have to clean these now!"

Lady: "Let me do that."

Me: "No, thank you! I have to use these baseballs for practice!"

I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen." So, I did what I had to do and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!

What’s the difference between the twin towers and your parents?

Nothing, they are both just memories.

I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.

Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?

A. They never get old.

I was at a My Chemical Romance meet and greet that Gerard didn’t attend, I just thought... “NO WAY!”

What's the difference between an orphan and a toy?

One is played with.

What's the difference between a blowjob and cough syrup?

They can both give you relief and make you gag at the same time.

An Emo walked up to a tree and put his hand up for a high-five.

But the tree left him hanging.

What's the difference between me and Elizabeth Afton?

Her dad always comes back.