And jokes

I named my cousin's parrot Michell, and then I started to call Mikey "Mikey", right? I'm starting to teach my cousin Sammy how to say "Mikey Mikey" and he says "mekiy meiky" 😆

I just did a test to see who my soulmate is, and it said "best friend." So I guess I am gay. I think so, WTF.

You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? About 120 pounds. ;D

Me and the boys are cool.

What has four legs and one arm? A Doderman in a playground.

What’s the difference between a pile of babies and a Tesla?

I don’t have a Tesla in my garage.

My therapist told me time heals wounds, so I stabbed him, and now we wait.

How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!

A family put their kid and their dog in an orphanage but came back for only the dog.

Why does an orphan only have 363 days in a year? Because they don’t have mothers' and Father’s Day.

Yo momma's so short that she fell off the toilet and broke her leg.

What do you call Peg and Cat from Peg + Cat? Egg + splat.

Eggy joke for all to enjoy!

Me: Yo wanna play 9/11?

My Friend: What’s that?

Me: It’s a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.

There are three types of people in the world:

Those who can count and those who can’t.

What's the difference between an egg and a good wank?

You can beat an egg.

Why did the question come to life? Answer: The adding, subtracting, times, dividing by, and equals signs came to life and squished pages.

When you are eating delicious street food in China and you ask the chef: You: "Is this chicken?" Chef: "No, its meow meow."

"Jiggle balls, jiggle balls, jiggle all the way."

"Dr. Squatch will heal the itch, and know it goes away, hey!"

A man and a child walk into a forest.

The kid says, "Um, sir, it's getting dark, and I'm getting kinda scared."

The man says, "Yeah, well, think how I feel. I have to walk back out alone."