And jokes

Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?

God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!

So I was just chilling in the World Trade Center, and I got airplane Wi-Fi. I wonder why....

My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.

What's the difference between friends and family?

One is actually real.

What do lesbians and mechanics have in common?

They both use strap on tools.

I was in a wheelchair for a few weeks last month.

I went through a super traumatic experience, and I *wheely* hope I made a good *roll* model!

What do you call a donkey and a potato?

Assround

What do you call the door that is cute and adorable?

Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.

T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎

What is the difference between a Libertarian and a dumb polack?

Not much difference.

What comes in and comes out, but you should never miss it?

Any ideas?

SHIT!!!!

Why are life and a penis alike?

Women make both of them hard.

What is the difference between men and women?

Men have 2 heads, women have 4 lips because men do all the thinking, and women do all the talking.

I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, “Does anyone know CPR?!”

I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet!”, and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person, he didn't hear the joke.

Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.

When a person in a wheelchair says, "You've never taken a step in my shoes," and you say, "To be honest, you haven't either."

What do you call a person that is both Black and Hispanic and was born on Wednesday? Miérkoolaids.

Yo mama so fat, she walked by the TV and I missed 12 episodes!

My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.

My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.

What’s the best part of fucking Noor’s vulva (btw Noor is black)? If my dick is right beside Mara’s vulva (btw Mara’s white and so am I).