And jokes
Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick :)
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What is the difference between your new teacher and a train?
Your teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Choo Choo!"
Person: You suck!
Me: Tell that to your mom, and she’ll say the same thing, honey. 😎
Did you hear about the Boston marathon? 'Cause, well, I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away!
Memes
I got a new job at a trampoline park the other day. If I’m being honest, it’s got its ups and downs.
What is it called when 21 Savage and 6ix9ine fight: Alien vs. Predator?
I got a horse and I named it Hermio-nae.
FEMA during a natural disaster is kinda like me during sex. Slow to respond and not a lot of satisfying results.
There was a guy called Manners, one called Poo, and one called Shut Up.
One day, Manners was on his way to pick up Poo from school. A police officer stopped Shut Up and said:
Police: "What’s you name?"
Shut Up: "Shut Up."
Police: "Where's your manners?!"
Shut Up: "Picking up Poo."
What can jump higher than a basketball player?
An emo kid, they never touch the ground.
I told my mom I'm happy and she said: "I didn't know you were gay."
I was outside digging a six-foot hole when I found a treasure box with jewels and shiny gems! I almost went inside to tell my wife, then I remembered why I was digging the hole.
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.
She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”
The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”
The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”
Why are carpenters never horny after work?
Because they’ve already spent all day getting hammered and nailing things.
When you reconstruct Michael Jackson and Lil Nas X to wreak havoc on preschool.
Women have ass and tits... but men have dick and rights.
How do you get a party started in Africa?
You put a slice of bread on the ceiling and everyone will be jumping.
Q. What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
A. Cancer.
I raped a girl and I liked it.
I hope my girlfriend won't mind it.
It felt so wrong, it felt so right.
Don't mean I'm in love tonight.