And jokes

I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.

What do a stool and an emo have in common?

They both sit still.

What's the difference between a prisoner and an orphan?

One is loved.

What do you get when you mix a 737 and 767?

A 797.

ATTENTION EVERYBODY: I am the owner of this website, and I will be deleting it in 5 hours. Thank you everybody who has participated in this website's life. Goodbye!

Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."

When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead.

What goes up and down and needs two people?

A seesaw.

What is the difference between an adopted kid and an orphan?

If you're adopted, you're actually wanted.

"Do you know the difference between wallpaper and toilet paper?" Replies, "No." "Gross!"

What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? You're not dead.

I'm a pilot and my boss told me to fly people to New York, so I flew them to New York and hit the towers. That was a tragic story.

You know how divers jump off a cliff and land in the water well...

Emos do that too, but when they jump, they don't land in the water.

Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh?

Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.

What's the difference between a Ranga and a Brick?

A Brick can get laid.

Roses are red and violets are blue, my best friend is Sue, and she's blue, too.

(meaning sad)

One day I'm walking and I saw Josh B. He's sucking balls and Marco jump[s], and we got [an] earthquake, and I say, "Yamate."

What do orphans and dinosaurs have in common?

Their parents are extinct.

What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?

Dark humor: 10 babies in one trash can.

Morbid humor: 1 baby in 10 trash cans.

Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.

Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.