And jokes
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?
Elton John is still standing.
What is the difference between an orphan and a cat?
The cat is actually cute.
What's an orphan's favorite meme?
Homer going into a bush.
Might take a while to notice and this one is bad.
What did the green grape say to the purple one?
"Calm down and take a breath."
What is long and hard and is full of seamen?
A submarine.
Memes
A poor person came up to me and said, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."
Why was 10 scared?
Because it was in the middle of 9 and 11.
What is the difference between an orphan and a blanket?
One is actually used.
What is the difference between Juice Wrld and an orphan?
One is loved by all.
I'm not saying I'm ugly...
But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.
So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.
The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."
Somebody: Do you even eat and get sleep?
Me: I have depression, what do you think?!
This joke's about flowers, the blue one's a violet.
Your mom's the Twin Towers and I am the pilot!
Why are the UK and the USA bad at playing chess?
Because they lost 2 towers and their queen.
You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up!
How many Kardashians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One really small one and one really small black guy.
I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.
My son caught me masturbating the other day and was like, "Dad, what are you doing?" I said, "Don't worry, you'll be doing it soon." He said, "Why is that?" I told him, "My arm is getting tired."
What's the difference between a CEO and licorice?
The licorice is black.
How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?
Pick it up and suck its dick.