And jokes

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they just sit in the dark and cry.

An emo and a leaf fall out of a tree. Which hits the ground first? The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "You know you wanna."

Jill said yes and lifted up her dress. They had some fun.

But silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.

Jack and Jill went up the hill.

Jack fell down, his ass was bound, and Jill continued up the hill.

Jack came back and beat Jill's back, and he got the ultimate kill.

What’s an orphan's favorite beer?

Foster's.

READ THIS OUT LOUD:

This is this cat.

This is is cat.

This is how cat.

This is to cat.

This is keep cat.

This is an cat.

This is idiot cat.

This is a busy cat.

This is for cat.

This is forty cat this is seconds cat.

NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.

What do Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common?

They both have little boy's pants 1⁄2 off...

What’s yellow and can sink a bus full of kids?

Yo mama's so old, she walked out of a museum and the alarm went off.

Sometimes I look in the mirror and go, "What happened?"

Can watersharky and Gwen comment on this? I need to talk to you guys.

What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple gets picked.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high, grabbed Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."

Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.

I got suspended at school today. I lit a kid's wheelchair on fire and called him "Hot Wheels."

What vibrates and is 6 inches?

A toothbrush.

"Knock knock."

"Why are you knocking on a wall? You're in the Twin Towers and they're going down!"

What’s a lung’s favorite type of exercise?

Breathing exercises.

I told this to my English teacher, and he said it to the class, and no one laughed. Someone help!

You know how sometimes you want to listen to music?

But everything you listen to is just supremely unsatisfying, even if it's songs you usually love; they are just so unappealing, and you have no idea what you actually want to listen to.

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? She can wash her crack and resell it.

One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"

A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.